Today I was having coffee with one of my good friends that I have known for more than 6yrs. He was nice enough to help me out with my exam work as I was unfortunately dying being swamped with two many legal terminology I am incapable of grasping.
In the middle of it, his phone starts ringing and the whole demeanor changes. I ask him what is wrong and he tells me it’s his girlfriend.
I tell him to answer the phone to which he replies that she doesn’t know that he is with me and that hence he cannot respond!
The petrified look on his face and then the sudden panicked look in his eyes make me wonder what he is doing being in such a relationship. He has been complaining for the last two years that he is not happy and the reaction sort of made me realize to what extent his life is a pretext. What sort of a relationship is it that makes you need to lie or cover up your presence with a friend you have known over the years? Most of all given the fact that he was merely helping another person with something as innocent as studies!!
I felt bad as I was the reason for him to get so panicked.And it also made me wonder what people get into calling it “being in a relationship”!
Is a relationship something that makes us pretend to be something we are not? Is it that which makes us lie and then cut down on being with our friends?? Is a it something that ties us down and make us enforce upon ourselves manacles pulling us down and creating tension within us??
In my process of typing this he calls me. I ask him how he is and whether he was okay and tell him that I hope that they didn’t have a fight.
He laughs another pretext he lives with on a daily basis and tells me that they did, but not something regarding me!! (of course he did not tell her that he helped me out!)
I laugh because I have no other reaction for the situations he gets himself into while silently praying that what ever relationship I may be in, that I would find someone who would be nice enough to understand that coffee with someone is sharing a friendly moment over coffee, and that helping a friend with studies is something nice and would encourage me in such endeavor rather than make me feel horrified enough not to pick the phone when it rings!
But for my misfortune, if I do not find such a man (which I believe would not be the case, nevertheless hypothetically assuming), well I would rather enjoy being me and single than be some person who has no clue what the hell I am doing with my life 🙂