Today I was having coffee with one of my good friends that I have known for more than 6yrs. He was nice enough to help me out with my exam work as I was unfortunately dying being swamped with two many legal terminology I am incapable of grasping.
In the middle of it, his phone starts ringing and the whole demeanor changes. I ask him what is wrong and he tells me it’s his girlfriend.
I tell him to answer the phone to which he replies that she doesn’t know that he is with me and that hence he cannot respond!
The petrified look on his face and then the sudden panicked look in his eyes make me wonder what he is doing being in such a relationship. He has been complaining for the last two years that he is not happy and the reaction sort of made me realize to what extent his life is a pretext. What sort of a relationship is it that makes you need to lie or cover up your presence with a friend you have known over the years? Most of all given the fact that he was merely helping another person with something as innocent as studies!!
I felt bad as I was the reason for him to get so panicked.And it also made me wonder what people get into calling it “being in a relationship”!
Is a relationship something that makes us pretend to be something we are not? Is it that which makes us lie and then cut down on being with our friends?? Is a it something that ties us down and make us enforce upon ourselves manacles pulling us down and creating tension within us??
In my process of typing this he calls me. I ask him how he is and whether he was okay and tell him that I hope that they didn’t have a fight.
He laughs another pretext he lives with on a daily basis and tells me that they did, but not something regarding me!! (of course he did not tell her that he helped me out!)
I laugh because I have no other reaction for the situations he gets himself into while silently praying that what ever relationship I may be in, that I would find someone who would be nice enough to understand that coffee with someone is sharing a friendly moment over coffee, and that helping a friend with studies is something nice and would encourage me in such endeavor rather than make me feel horrified enough not to pick the phone when it rings!
But for my misfortune, if I do not find such a man (which I believe would not be the case, nevertheless hypothetically assuming), well I would rather enjoy being me and single than be some person who has no clue what the hell I am doing with my life 🙂
Robes of a Muse said:
Couldn’t agree with you more! 🙂 Hope the studies went well 😉
not really 😦
U r absolutely right akki 🙂
LOL Vosi, I don’t know why people even get into a relationship, leave alone get married.. if it’s going to be a prison for that person.. OR if that person is not planning on being faithful.
Love or attraction is one thing but freedom is another – And there are two sides to this story in my opinion.
One side of the story is, people who are in a relationship should be faithful to their partner. And if they have been otherwise, their partner is going to be very suspicious of their behavior even when they are in the presence of just a friend for a very innocent reason so you really can’t blame them cuz the fault is yours in the first place – get your act together. So on one side.. if you’re in a serious relationship and you “claim” that you love someone.. stop looking around! It makes your partner feel very insecure and feel ‘sick’ about you. And make the others around you think.. what a loser you are.
On the other side, some people think that just because their partner has a romantic relationship with them, they should cease contact with all others of the opposite sex, regardless of their history with them as friends. These people should realize that we all need friends whether male or female. Friendship does not have a gender. Friendship is based on human companionship and not romance or lust. And some.. even go as far as expecting their partners stop contacts with their own cousins and work colleagues of the opposite sex *rolls eyes*
I think both extremes are bad news for a successful relationship. So these people should think again what the hell they are looking for in a relationship yeah? lol
Very nicely put Indu! Words of wisdom 🙂