Yesterday while watching news on television I notice a woman crying and the doctors holding an x ray sheet with nails being shown inside the woman’s hand!
I, for a moment wonder what the hell is going on!
My dad is engrossed with the information emitted and is livid while the woman tells her story. I the emotionless one, look and try to absorb the situation.
Did she just say that she was punished by those who hired her as a domestic in Riyadh by hammering nails into her body??
Now that was a little hard for even my indifference to swallow.
She looks to be in her 50s, a common woman of the rural parts. One of those women who would go abroad to work as a housemaid wishing for a better life for her children.
Later I find from papers, that she is 50 years old, named Ariyawathie and a resident of Matara district.
I wonder what would have crossed her mind, at those moments of horror!
I remembered the couple I met at the airport while waiting to board a plane. The husband and wife spending their last moments together. The wife on her way to work as a house maid. All her belongings packed into one small bag and I had no clue for how long she was leaving. They did not know how to fill the immigration forms, and came to me for help.
Seeing her, and her venture, I could only think of whether she had any children. What her life would be on her return. And how her life would be where she was headed.

Ariyawhathie would have been like that woman I met at the airport. She could have been her for all that matter as I recall no face nor traits. Just the tiny bag she was carrying.

Why are we as a nation sending these women into hands of torturers?
Do we as a nation have more responsibility towards these people who we pack off with dreams of a better tomorrow?
What do we do when they return handicapped? Brocken backed or with 23 nails hammered into them?

Ariyawhathie back in her country, but unable sit down or walk. The doctors are supposed to have declared that they found 24 metal pieces in her legs and hands. And they are not sure of the ability of all those being removed.

The memory of the incident, the face of the woman, the wounds from surgery performed possibly to take off the nails flash in my head.
I scan through papers and click on websites to gain more information.

I am taken to be a lover of grotesque situations as my interested in the matter is not comprehended by many.

I don’t admire its malicious quality. Nor do I find its grotesqueness fascinating.

I, Miss. Indifference try to fill the void, the lacuna, the human face which the situation lacks.

For me a vital question remains unanswered.
What do we do after watching this on television? Switch channels on the plight of many Ariyawathies still out there whose silent cries though loud as can be fall on deaf ears?

Or do something worthwhile to mark a change in this vicious pattern?

Why do lot of things happen in life? How do they happen? Does one really know?

Life is full of mysteries. Mysteries that we will never unveil.
Why do we meet certain people? Fall in love? Fall out of love? Despise, hold on to agonising moments?
Why do people die at moments they do?
Why would a bird shit on you?

Lot of whys without any reasoning behind them.
Watching the movie “Accidents Happen” by Roland Gallois, all I could think of were the accidents that have happened in my life, and keep happening and will happen in the future.

Billy’s and Doug’s story and Gene’s story combine as mine would flow endless with lot of constant accidents.

I think of all the data accumulated within the course of the day, the woman who was tortured by nails being knocked into her. Was her life an accident too? Was it an accident to end up with those sponsors who would beat her, torture her while her search was for better life for her family?

Mr. T calling me and blablafying , are those accidents too? The fact that I know his fiancée is it a bigger accident?
Life is full of accidents and sometimes they are for the best! That is what the movie said.

Life continues…

A cranky morning and a bitchy person I be today. The people around me would have felt it and so did I too feel it. There be those days that one wakes up ten fifteen times before properly waking up, or simple one be woken up that amount of times before opening eyes. Well today was one of those days.
My days have become quite routine. Waking up late, rushing into the shower, and rushing out with wet hair to work. “Rush” be the word that describe me. Rush into a room, and rush out of the room while not noticing steps and twisting my ankle.(which be the misfortune that befall me today)
Touk touk rides with dust and pollution rushing to my lungs while my wet hair entangles into a mess. Observing the traffic and images of couple of months rushing in to my mind. Quite strange, yet they do! Not the best moments of which to be reminded but my mind supplies such imagery to please my grotesque taste at various intervals. Such be the case of today!
So many calls to make, so many mails to respond, none of which I do, simply because it is one of those days! One of those random days, where you feel like something is tremendously wrong! Some huge misfortune fell upon earth and no one realised it till it was too late!
Then I realise! Today be the day he was born!
Yep the world was surely jinxed. May me reverse the statement “blessed be the day he was born!”
It shall not be uttered, just let be felt, like the wind that blows with the hypocrisy that he emanates!
Yes “ blessed are we to know him!” ( You know what I mean!)

Laptop on
In bed

Eyes Open.

Sleep
Far away…

Think of you

Hours of you
And still
Far away…

Defence Secretary Gotabaya Rajapaksa made his statement to the LLRC during  the 3^rd session of public hearing on the 17^th of Augus. He stated that the Sri Lankan army did all it could to avoid civilian casualties during the war with Tamil rebels. He highlighted that the government fought with a zero casualty policy and that most of those killed were possible LTTE combatants as the number of LTTE cadres killed was never revealed in correct statistics.

He also added that nobody talks on how one can identify civilian casualties from combatants and that the LTTE would change clothes and pretend to be civilians when injured. He emphasised that knowing that to be the situation, the army still was willing to help the injured, be they LTTE cadres or civilians.

He pointed out that most  of the people have forgotten that government and army defeated the most ruthless organisation in the world, according to him all suicide attacks conducted by extremist Muslim groups were  equivalent to one year of LTTE attacks.

Mr. Rajapaksa also highlighted the atrocities committed by the LTTE among which are the assassination of Tamil leaders such as Lakshman Kadiragamar, other political leaders among whom are President Premadasa and also hundreds and thousands of civilians.

Explaing the conduct of the government he emphasised, from the very beginning government took several steps because the Security Council was aware of civilians living in the combating  areas. The possibility of a humanitarian crisis was acknoleged.

“From the very beginning we took several measures to face this kinds of possible humanitarian crisis.” He stated.

Speaking of the food items sent to the Vakarai area, Mr. Rajapaksa stated that although the government knew that some of the supplies sent, were taken by the LTTE for their own use, they continued sending supplies as the civilians needed it.

“ Till the last minutes, we sent these food items, where there was no land access we took all the measures from the sea.”

He also elaborated the casualties suffered by the army and states that over this period, the army had suffered 6ooo deaths in action, 30000 injured. He explained that it shows the intensity of fighting which took place.

In speaking of no fire zones, he said that declaration of no fire zones was an important factor and that it can be taken as a Sri Lankan model. He also added that this can be adopted in other places where terrorism is felt, for humanitarian assistance and minimising civilian casualties.

In commenting on the civilian being used as human shields, he said that at one stage the LTTE wouldn’t let the civilians come out and we realised that they would use the civilians as a human shield.

He continued that no fire zones were opened and on the first day 20 000 civilians crossed to army control areas which pointed to the LTTE a danger and they started attacking those who were crossing and suicide attacks were implemented killing civilians as well as unarmed army persons helping civilians.

He also stated that there were mechanisms set in place to receive IDPs that were coming, medical assistance organised.

In commenting on the current IDP situation he assured that there was no army settlements to be built in the North as rumours spread and that no civilians had been yet settled either. And he also added that the detainees were being rehabilitated so that they can be used to the functioning of the social mechanism.

I was on my way from Mumbai to Kandala. (I think that is how it is spelt. Like the song in the Amir Khan movie. My friend’s mum explained to me that, it is where people go on vacation. Or that is what I think she was saying.)

A van, driven by a young driver. No identity, no special traits.

I, at the backseat absorbing the new images rushing pass me. Hindi music on speakers and vegetarian food offered.
He was just a driver, like any other driver.

Later while waiting in the van, I start chatting with him.
He tells me he is from Pondichery, studying commerce in university, visiting his sister in Mumbai.

We make conversation in his English which I understood for most parts and my Hindi which he did not understand for most parts.

It felt good to know, that “the driver” was no more “the driver” but a human being with a story. Most likely my age and trying to build a life.

He puts his CD of music and I tell him I like some of the songs. He takes the time to pick them, switch between songs, replay those I liked.

Hous later, rushing back to Mumbai. Late to catch my flight to Delhi.

Tires were burning and smell hard and harsh on my nostrils, while I seated at the front seat.

Music on. Low as possible. Friend’s mum having a headache. Eventually to be switched off.

No more songs I liked. Disappointment on my face he noticed. The same reflected on his face.

Tires screeching, and the vehicle swaying out of control, off the highway.

Tires had been burning.

Lucky were we who escaped alive.

One hour to spare, lost somewhere, no where near the airport.
He, trying to fix the vehicle. We trying to get help, holding torches, panicking missed death, giving up on planes.

But manage to get back on time, fuel on red and zero!
I rush up to the room, change, dump my clothes, shoes, and what else into my suitcase.

He was outside. I, personification of a mad woman, rushing out. My friend’s mum handing me food, a bag of my favourite fruit fed to me in abundance.

A fruit hated by most Indians but adored by one Sri Lakan.

Luggage stuffed into waiting cab, an impatient driver glaring.

I open the door to get in, and he comes behind me, gives me the CD.

I am speechless. I have nothing for him. Not even money in my purse.

I tell him, I am sorry, I have nothing to offer him.

He smiles.

A genuine smile.

Two people who survived death.
Two people without names.

Faces to be remembered.
Not lost in memory.

CD remains and so does his memory.