I always believed in people having the capacity to change. I have always been taught that everyone deserves a second chance. But does this really make sense?
The more I think of it, the lesser I start believing in the fact that people do change. There is always something within us we hold inside. Is change permanent or a mere form of adaptation.
Someone asked me a few days back “what if I try to be not full of shit”. He was answering to my accusation that he is “full of shit”. It hit me at that moment, that it is all an effort. An effort at suppressing what we really are so that we be accepted by those or the majority beings. Hide those “flaws” that they hate, or those mannerisms that “they” loath.
“Oh pray, bring my shroud of hypocrisy for I hence forth shall play that role as be required of me!”
What am I trying to say here, well the simple fact that, of late I really do not believe that people can change. The instances that I did believe in that capacity, it just dragged me down to dumps where depression be my only companion where despise would have been a better option.
Speaking to Sonali last night I realised that she and I have both believed in the theory of rehabilitation, and second chances and unfortunately drowned in our own disappointments of our own positive expectations of answers of affirmation and willingness.
In short humans make an effort as far as there be an incentive for their adaptation. The moment of its disappearance, we become those reptile brain creatures filled with mere survival instinct threading upon the weaklings for the gloating of our egos and the empowerment of our dominance.
Humans are mere vicious creatures full of deceit, hypocrisy and suppressed and frustrated vile.
Suppression does not help those that are in frustration.
How long can one “try not to be full of shit?” Is that even an option? A mere flicker of hope in the human capacity of change and adaptation? Where does hope separate from fact, and then fact from fiction? Where rest those answers to those questions never voiced but remain forever silent?
Too many questions and too few answers.
For those on a quest for revival of that positive side of those disappointments, brave will you be when the disappointment is thrust upon you like the cold on Colombo nights where beggars shiver with sheer helplessness cursing their hope that there be one day, where all be well, due to the mere blessings of hope turned self crushing reality.