I am back to being in a relationship with my estranged lover. Not “you” that I speak of, reference be to “Insomnia”. Sleep be merely a fling, it was never anything serious. We had our mutual differences and we both knew that we would eventually have to get back to our old habits, despite the admitted stupidity of those of course. Guess we needs must admit that despite our stupidity in being with these companions, we are both happy in these sadistic relationships. The ones that the world frowns upon and we thrive on! We are happy in our own comfort ( / dis- comfort) zone. I turn to my torturous relationship while Sleep resorted to cuddles of “others”.
Mum finds me strolling in the living room, rather “lurking” and wants to know what it is that bothers me. I respond saying that the nap in the evening did me no good. She wants to know if I want to sleep between dad and she. I wonder if she ever would get over picturing me as a 7 year old, who she needs must force feed, force sleep upon, solely for the betterment of human kind. (I strongly believe that she strongly believes that by force feeding my lovable sis and I that she would somehow contribute to the eradication of world hunger. I am NOT kidding) I answer in the affirmative in my head, (on the matter with regards to the maternal illusions on me) but remain silent. I choose not to tell her about my latest break up with Sleep. She would never in this world grasp the concept of a fling. Or would she? Not sure. But Dad would. He gets many things which I am surprised that he does. Kind of cool in some ways, and sometimes a little creepy.
So yea, the nap in the evening was not the best idea. Rathindra tells me on my waking up and admitting that it be not the best decision I took for the day, that “no one takes what he says seriously!” ( he counselled prior to my sleep that it was NOT a good idea, and double checked if I were sleeping when I was trying to sleep. Kind of reminds me of those moments, when you wake someone up who you know is asleep and ask them “are you sleeping?” do that to me anyone, will box your ears, or knock your teeth out! Yes, I am a very nice person, who vehemently despises violence!) well coming back to the point on the level or being taken “seriously”, I tell him that I DO take “him” VERY seriously. And am surprised with my response.
( Vositha ponders deeply on the matter while she continues her typing)
Yes funnily I do take “him” seriously, but not sure if I do take what he “says” seriously. May be I do, but then again, he does not say much at most times, I continue my rants and funny stories, or supposedly “funny stories” to which he listens without much complaining. Bless that man for his patience or the great ability at pretending to listen to me go on forever. (I mean literally forever!)
Mental note: Should be nicer to him in the future, or let me say, should “try” to be nicer to him in the future.
Well, the bottom line being, I did NOT listen to him, and is back to my relationship with Insomnia. It is quite a sad plight as I know that Insomnia is definitely a bad choice, having being together for a while I should have realised this before, but then again, what can I say, I am stubborn. Let me rephrase “pig headed”. ( Oh man, that was not the best expression, just reminded me of those pigs hung on hooks alive, in slaughter houses, and shown on the Humane Society video. Yes, that was quite dramatic, specially with my face appearing out of the blue when I was giving my ever so wonderful speech on animal rights and telling the audience to look at “animals”. I am in doubt as to which might have caused the audience more trauma, my visa photograph on the screen or the video that followeth it! Those who have not heard me rant the story of how my visa photo popped up last week at a presentation at the law faculty debates, please ignore the comments within brackets)
Coming back to reality and present day life, I have become totally domesticated of late, (not good) refusing to meet up with friends, refusing to go out, and actually managing to have a conversation for more than 15 minutes on the phone(this one being at least 1.5 hours long) with “someone” other than Sonali. ( Sonali be an exception to the rule, we talk to each other at least thrice a day. Yes we do have a lot to complain about. Life is good when we bitch, so we choose to bitch. Or rather, let me stop talking for her, life is good when I bitch and she “chooses” to listen! Am I not one lucky being? People do actually listen to me bitch, or at least “pretend” to listen to me bitch.)
Anyways I am still up hanging out with Insomnia. ( Sorry sweetheart, I do not intend to cheat on you, but then I cannot help it. We as in “I” and “Insomnia” are inseparable, and I hope you understand. And you being you, and your detached self I presume would understand. In any case you did proclaim to be not “possessive” despite your continuous stalking of my Facebook wall)
Yes, it is late. May be high time I head off to cuddle in bed with Sleep.
Oh man, am I a slut or what?!
A clash between two chemically driven relationships. A state of limbo…. ??? Or is it something else? It like jazz music… Once you go on with one rhythm and all of a sudden you bring in another note in between. The twisted reflection of the past…
I was not much of a Jazz fan though occasionally indulge in listening to it, for me the rant be one that was a mere rant of the complexities and the random thoughts that flow from my insomniac brain. I am yet to discern whether writing skills are best when drunk or when lacking sleep 🙂 But do appreciate your parallel. Quite elegant I would say, for something that be rather nonsensical in its minute existence.
Hmmm, insomnia’s dad is named coffee. He waits with a shot gun making sure I do not cheat on his daughter.
Man, I drink a shit load of coffee early in the night and find out that I can’t sleep when I go to bed. It’s funny cause it happens most of the time.
I should negotiate with coffee, maybe he’s a reasonable man.
ok slight problem Mate! If you take Insomnia, to be a female, it would constitute me to be a lesbian or at the least, a bisexual! Not the best way I would like to be taken 😛
Anyhow, I have heard that Coffee is not a bad dude, despite the shot gun he carries around, I am sure your non-violent streak my help you in negotiating with his violent streak. Peace be upon you my child!! :p
Lol ur no slut i should think, just a not-so-good writer. Objectively. No offense.
Yeah did not think I was either 🙂 Objectivity always appreciated.
I love the fact that this is written so well. Your side comments trying to run away from the insomnia…the random thoughts and memories are all signs of it. Couldn’t have said it my better…slut to insomnia may you find yourself in the arms of the protagonist sleep 😀
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