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Vositha's Blog

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Vositha's Blog

Monthly Archives: May 2011

“Is it you, me or just the weather?”

31 Tuesday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Random Moments of Life, Relationships

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

depressed, emotions, indifference, love, me, mum, relationships, you

You say you do not know what emotions are, and that it is all your mother’s fault. I wonder what that woman did to you, for you to blame the world on her. Get tired of your indifference, the one you claim to have acquired from her.

You say she does not love you. I think it is the stupidest thing I ever heard. What mother would not love her own child. Then again, it is you. And maybe you are an exception (at least in your imagination)

I hear of your daily fights with her. I think “at least she fights”. I don’t. Cz I am just tired. Tired of trying. Life with you has taught me that it ain’t worth it.

I do what I do best: wonder.

I wonder if it is you, me or just the depressed weather?

“Her Nape”

30 Monday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Of late I have come to understand that there is something exceptionally sexy about a woman’s neck. Not sure what the hell it is, but there is something there. I have watched or given many women creepy stares and analysed what attracts me to their nape, but have failed to grasp the profound reasoning behind it.

Yesterday I was looking at her while she was writing her answer and I realised that she had a very fair neck and that it was a very tempting physical aspect when her hair was tied up. The nerdy specs she wore was enticing enough with the naughty librarian look. A strand of here, ruefully fell on her white skin as she kept on writing unaware of my stare.

Who said women could not be attracted to the same assets on women that men could be? (though I am sure men find boobs to be a better distraction than the skin on a woman’s neck, then again what the hell do I know these days!) I mean why do all men end up kissing a woman’s neck? Is it cause they think their woman them to do so, or they are naturally attracted to that part of our anatomy?

Wonder if gay men kiss other men on their neck. Let me check on that one, could be an interesting analysis to launch.

“A Full Circle”

29 Sunday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Fiction, Random Moments of Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

change, Circle, civil procedure code, cycle, feelings. closure

He always came into her life at random moments. She had no say in it, and she did not particularly want to have any say in it either. Life was such and she let the life continue in its own course.

It was a full circle and a vicious cycle. The being friends while she yearned for closure, the stupid chats that popup at unexpected moments, or crashing into each other when least expected just added to that nostalgic effect.

“I do not want to mess around with you again!” She says.

“Oh you have become serious all of a sudden!”

“Always was.” she adds.

He does not respond.

It’s funny how little things have changed over the years, the same conversation and the same feelings.

“So you feeling any better?” she asks.

“Yes, thank you for checking on me!”

“No fuss, I am pathologically like that” she says.

“That’s a good thing”

“Not sure if it is, in this case”

“Want me to teach you Civil Procedure Code in a nutshell?”

“Sure why not?”

Yes, nothing had changed…

Cohabitation: still a taboo?

27 Friday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Random Moments of Life, Relationships

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

cohabitation, living together, marriage, norms. moving out, sex, taboo

I have this bad habit of pondering on life at regular intervals. Then of course venting my frustration by typing a blog. What bugged me today was the question on how people would take it if I were to move in with someone!

Behold all the reactions that will flow in!

Mum’s friends will go, “chee that daughter of hers! How can she do such a thing after all that the parents have done for her!? What a shame!”

Then mum would go “What is wrong with you, you want to give your dad a heart attack?” (yes she is all about emotional black mail and dad getting a heart attack being the latest threat. She would go “come home early, dad is not well and all!” I am like “really?”)

So the question pops up, how much are we able to make a decision about our lives nowadays. It is super funny how my mum is chilled about my sharing a room with a man if I am not in the country, but if I were to do the same while in Colombo, I am sure she would flip.

Travelling with a man when not in the country is acceptable, but in the country, well takes a little difficulty to swallow up. (though eventually she is forced to, as she seems to have run out of options)

I was having this chat with a friend a few weeks back, on how one cannot really know a person till you really live with that person. Like little things such as those shoes that are thrown all over, the socks which are never in place, or reading the newspaper while brushing teeth (if you do not believe that people do so, trust me I have met a few who do) which irritate you. Well these will never be known unless and until you wake up to find that person caught in the act! (I remember the horror of the first sight of one walking around brushing teeth for good twenty minutes and then reading the newspaper with a brush in hand, and foam in mouth!)

So yea, what do you do when you discover this, after signing some paper, after legitimising the “union”? how are you to deal with it, when you realize that you cannot live with all these weird habits. Kick the moron out, or file for divorce? Dammit, what kind of mess do you have to put yourself just because such messed up “norm” required you follow such “norms”? I have met friends who got married just cause they wanted to have sex, and their parents were phone harassing them so much that they did not even have a minute to make out in peace when they were on a date! (no it was not a happy ending, they ended up going through a divorce after about a year of marriage. So much for getting married!)

Fine leave alone living with a man, say I want to move out just by myself, how would that be viewed?

Well it will be the same scenario I guess (if the parents are in the same vicinity, and your only reason to move out is to gain some autonomy and lead your life the way you want). “Look at that girl, moving out while her poor parents are living all alone!” quite a possible expression to be heard I presume.

Or it could jolly well be “I am sure she wants to lead a loose life, you know bring in her men and all, can’t do so when she is with parents noh!”

What bloody rubbish!!

It’s high time people get over their dumb hypocrisy and their double standards. And who the hell said that a girl should be under the parents roof till she got married?

What the fuck!! What if one never gets married? Should you live under the parents roof till an old maid?

Hell NO! Screw thy norms! I sure have better things to do!

“On arrival visa to Sri Lanka: NO MORE!”

27 Friday May 2011

Posted by vositha in current updates

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Bhutan, Immigration, on arrival visa, Sri Lanka, Thai visa, visa

Twitter informs me that the on arrival visa facility that Sri Lanka was famous of will be soon scrapped off. From August onwards those who wish to come to Lanka land need visa. Yes you do!

What do I think of it? Well call me vicious, but I think it was long due. Every time I am standing in a queue trying to get my visa papers sorted I wonder why Sri Lankan immigration was being ever too nice when the other countries are all giving us shit. Well I mean I am happy that Sri Lanka is nice about it, but then again, the mere fact the other countries look upon us like retards who are waiting to hop into their country for good, on being given the chance to step in pisses me off! ( then again, our folk are also responsible for such assumptions, doing exactly what is assumed of them, and then causing difficulties for those unlike them! Sigh, of late I have come to realise that the world is full of idiots, and me filling in on that list as well on a random basis)

Anyhow the last few travels to Thailand and India, and my experience being stuck in the Thai Embassy till end of day taking shit from the visa officers thanks to a stupid travel agent who had messed up my visa forms, followed by the new Indian visa regulations which required me to apply for another entry visa while in Bhutan has made me realize that one should never give away something too easily when you are being deprived of it.

So the conclusion for the day: If they give you shit, do give them shit! (damn I am turning a super ass bitch, and seem to be getting quite good at it)

Anyhow on a different note, have a happy day folks, and for those who were awaiting with great anticipation the victory parades, my wish does not seem to be of any help! I sorry for you all, but it does seem like it is going to rain! Yea RAIN! (another parade haunted by rain, is it just me, or does not the weather seem to like these parades ah?)

The stance on the visas seems to have changed since I posted this. Hence the quotes from morning, and then the latest, so that one reading may form their own opinion on the matter!

Morning quote from

http://www.adaderana.lk/news.php?nid=13405&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=Bambuwa

“Sri Lanka on Thursday withdrew the on-arrival free visa facility for Indian tourists. It means that Indians planning a trip to Sri Lanka after August should apply for their visas online for a fee or visit Lankan missions with an application. The new system will be implemented within 80 days, WA Chulananda Perera, Immigration and Emigration Controller General, told the Hindustan Times.

Besides Indian tourists, visitors from 78 other countries will be impacted by the decision.

“Only tourists from Singapore and Maldives, countries which gives on-arrival visas to Lankans, will continue to get the reciprocal facility,’’ Perera added.”

The afternoon quote from http://www.adaderana.lk/news.php?nid=13412

“Foreign media reports stating that Sri Lanka had scrapped the on-arrival visa system for Indian tourists entering the country were denied by the Immigration and Emigration Controller General, WA Chulananda Perera who stated that he had been misquoted.

Speaking to Ada Derana today (May 27) Mr. Perera said that he had made no statement to the Indian Newspaper regarding Indian on-arrival visas and had only spoken about the new online electronic visa system to be implemented by Sri Lanka.”

So what do you make out of this? That on implementing the online visa system, the on arrival visa facility expires? (at least that is what I seem to gather from it)


“May be I am not her perfect man!”

20 Friday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ 7 Comments

So there is Sonali. My best friend, my confidante, the one I turn to when I am broke. So in short, the person I kind of have access to 24/7 and the only person for whom I tend to be available 24/7. (apart from my sister, but then my sister is barely in need of attention, she prefers to be left alone 24/7, so yes)

Anyways here is her latest venture, (I mean Sonali’s): Making a speech. With all her talent and speaking skills, she decides she is going to make a joke of herself (which for a fact I know she would not) and decides to send me her speech to check it out.

She speaks of a man who is Mr. Perfect, who will quote Shakespeare, who will talk in words I do not understand over dinner (and be actually able to spell those words uttered), and then who would climb a tree and pluck a mango for her. (I have had this conversation with her a million times, where I could understand the first two elements, but not the last one. I don’t think I have dated any man who would pluck a mango for me, well rather not even a man who could climb a tree to save his life)

Anyhow those are her requisites. And she does have logical backing up for all three elements, and I am amazed by her rationality achieved through irrationality. (AMAZED)

On having read the speech myself, I decided to forward it to my dearest boyfriend, who comes to the conclusion that he is NOT the perfect man for her.

And then adds, “by the way, I am rooting for Sonali” and goes on with his chant. “Soh-Nah-Lih! Soh-Nah- Lih!” (and goes on to add “that is how cheerleaders would chant it” to which I respond with “I see!”)

I suggest that he would make a very good looking cheerleader in a mini skirt and he says that he will go shave his legs.

While he goes on how I am to inform my fried that he is all supportive of her, and how he is willing to shave his legs if she be in need of a cheer leader, I start to wonder what I would want my perfect man to be.

The conclusion was the easiest ever reached and had ONE requisite.

“A man with shaven legs!” 😛

I trust you! (sure my “foot” I do!)

19 Thursday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Handbook on Human Species, Random Moments of Life

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

hypocrisy, lies, linguistics, trust

Well today has all been about trust, lies and hypocrisy. Of late I am evaluating life, lies and lust. Well today the last being missing, I remain focussed on the first two, when what I should have done is focus on law. Yeah, but when did one ever do, what be required of one to do. I be no exception. Letting law rot, I focused on lies.

The first part of the day I tried to figure out whether it was just I, or others who believed that lying does include half truths and those nondisclosures of information that one knows the other party would not be too happy to hear, which brought me to a flashback of a fight I once had with my first boyfriend, and him screaming at me saying “ I don’t get your linguistics or law, you lied to me!” as a response to my “I was not lying to you, I did not even tell you anything on it!”. Well that argument did not end well, I remember it leading to some domestic violence and me deciding that any man to touch me in anger would end up with his limbs being deprived for good. And I think the rest of the male species that followed sensed that sinister quality in me, and decided never to check their abilities of violence on me. (lucky them)

Anyhow, well coming back to the point, I jolly well have moved away from those moments I believed that not telling him something would negate my lying, as today I believe if one does not tell me something, then it amounts to lying.

I had this interesting conversation with someone in the morning, where we were discussing the same topic. I told him, any man can have any amount of freedom he needs, as long as I am not given the presumption that he is not elsewhere doing something completely different as to what I find him doing. Imagine you think your man is at work, just because he gives you the impression that is what he is going to be doing, and then ends up walking into him with some other woman in a restaurant or walking out of a restaurant for that matter.

The conversation prior to that would be like this,

“hello”
“hello”
“What you up to? Want to meet up for coffee?”
“I am going to be busy at work. So much to finish”
“Ah ok. I will not bug you them. Laters!”
“Ok bye”


(a few moments later there he walks off with some other woman!)

Sure they could be friends, and they could be just having a drink, but would you not be feeling awkward? I would. I honestly would be confused whether to talk to him, or walk off. To send a text or to call from another table. Or just simply to ignore the whole presence and merely carry on.

Then again what about those sentences like, “oh I just charged my phone!” when he forgets to call you, or “I did not call you because I did not wake you up”? Are those lies that one should take into consideration or just ignore?

Analyzing linguistics is fun at times. But when you get too good at spotting lies, you are left wondering similarly when you crash into your boyfriend with another woman, whether you confront the person, or to simply ignore. Do you raise that red flag to send him that alert that you DO know that he is twisting his tongue when he is telling those sentences. Or do you simply raise that white flag and remain neutral? And think, yes you have all the symptoms of one who is talking like Pinocchio (though your nose seems to shrink rather than grow) but I do choose to refrain from confronting the obvious, cause we both know that you are the idiot who is lying, when it’s written all over your face!

“So where’s the Oil Spill? In Galle?”

19 Thursday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Another oil spill! And this time it has nothing to do with the oil spills of which we have been hearing over the year. This time they speak of the South coast of Sri Lanka. And here goes the story, as per gathered by the newspaper articles.
On 17th May 2011, NEWSNOW.lk reported of the launch of an investigation into the discovery of suspected oil floating on the seas off Galle. It claimed that the oil has spread to an area of 4km and that it “is said to contain three layers” . The source of the suspected oil spill was claimed yet to be identified.

The Director of the Coast Conservation Department Anil Premaratne was quoted saying that “tests are now being carried out on the suspected oil spill and once tests are concluded a determination can be reached if the oil had leaks from a ship or any other source or if it was any other substance which looks like oil.”

On the same day, reports of denial of such oil spill is found on the daily mirror web, according to which , the story goes “The Marine Pollution Prevention Authority (MPPA) said that immediate tests carried out on sea-water samples from areas in Galle where black patches appeared indicate that it is not caused by an oil spill.” The black patches suspected of an oil spill are claimed to be a result of “ the surfacing of a microscopic marine organism such as planktons.”

question of the day: So what do we go with? Spill or NO spill? Are the tests conclusive evidence to there being no spill as claimed?

(If anyone is more informed on the matter, please comment.)

Abortion : “It’s all her fault!”

18 Wednesday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Fiction

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

abortion, blood, fear, loss, pain, stain, suffer

It was like revisiting one of those crime scenes. The women crawling in corners, and wriggling in pain. The blank looks, and the suffering on their faces. She remembered them, those faces and that suffering. She felt helpless for those whose faces were drawn with fear, and loss.

She did not know how to help any, let alone help herself.

They called it a clinic, but it was more like a slaughter house. Hygiene, safety all lost. But women visiting out of desperation, to get some relief, to get rid of those unwanted lives growing within them.

Do they even want to go through it? she knew not. She did not have the courage to ask. She was a mere witness of the horror that flowed or followed.

May be she was raped, or maybe she already had too many kids. May be she had a jackass of a boyfriend who did not believe in being a father to the child he gave. So many options, so many presumptions, available and just flowing in the air. One too many I say.

She just stared, a spectator of crimes being committed, every 30 minutes, one woman after another, walking up the stairs, then walking out in a bloodstained cloth. They just walk out, on their own, the stains of blood, the stains of their lost virtue, pride and dignity. The depression is yet to flow, and they will embrace it, or they will walk off, out of that ugly image, indifferent, emotionless or unbroken. May be life moves on for them. May be life is simple, clear cut, and not worth comprehension. May be they just do not think, analyse, or rather, over analyse.

The night is beautiful. He keeps on talking, holding her hand. “It’s all her fault! I mean don’t these women believe in the pill?” She just looks at him. Suddenly seeing him in a different light. “I am all for legalising abortion, but this, this is disgusting..” and the rest of the words just get drowned, in those ugly images of the slaughter house, where she was seated waiting for her friend, to walk out safe.

The smell of blood, the pain on their faces, the feelings and the fear. The loss of a loved one wanted, thanks to a moron. The tears that flow down her cheeks, the tears of feeling a slut, and hugging the friend as she sobs. All gush in.

It was not “her” fault! She knows it.

And just  for a moment, she just hated him with all the love she had in her heart.

“Boredom with a pinch of Enlightenment”

17 Tuesday May 2011

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

It’s crazy how fast I get bored. Fault be mine or what surrounds me? I have no clue. But the realisation struck that it has its own pattern. Every two weeks or so, striking me harshly with a slap on my face. Then depression takes over, followed by my pretext of happiness, with hope that somewhere at some point, people will get a clue. (though their cluelessness of my state always being the norm)

Had I been Emma Bovary I would be sleeping around. Mediocrity killed that woman, with boredom and then her stupid hallucinations. Nothing too different, just that I shall try to stop at boredom and die of it, rather than stupid hallucinations. I mean at least people might not call me crazy then. But then again, I am not sure if it will be boredom and insomnia combined. That might be one sad combination to die of. No one would remember a woman who died of those two. No fun or innovation, hence to be forgotten way too fast..

So Vesak day has come, and I immerse myself in this stupid boredom that be not new and wonder whether Lord Buddha hit boredom before he attained enlightenment. I am sure at some stage of life he must have.

Someone asked me today if I had gained any enlightenment. I told him I already was enlightened. Not the way people are expected to be, but in a very warped and twisted kind of way. I think he was taken aback by my answer. Then again, how is one to answer such stupid inquiry? With more stupidity and sarcasm of course. So I obliged.

One ugly lantern hangs at my doorstep. It’s a very ugly pink. Dad was late to go shopping for paper and well sis was the one who did the honours of pasting that ugly paper onto its skeleton. I feel like that lonely lantern, out of place and just plain ugly. Just hanging there, while I keep hanging in here. Out of sheer and mere obligation because that be what is expected of us. Hence we oblige.
If I knew the tongue of lanterns I bet you any amount that the lantern dies a slow death at my door step, in her boredom. (her because the lantern is hot pink, no kidding) I am sure it is cursing out of loud, but obviously unheard.

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