A few months back my hairdresser came up with this interesting topic to converse on while he was messing up my hair (no kidding) And I have no clue to this date why the hell he picked me to have this conversation with. Then again, maybe he thought I would endure his speech with a pinch of patience. So here goes the summary of the conversation which would lead to my analysis on the title put up above.
The man is a little full of himself I should say. No offence intended but just elaborating the facts as they are. He ain’t that bad looking either, a little bodybuilder style, tinted hair (the usual of the hairdressing folk I think of late) and a somewhat good charmer.
His topic of the day: the women who come to his saloon and who make moves on him. I am like spare me please, but then again, I am not the kind to speak out my bitchiness out loud, unless really required. So on a test of patience, I await for him to go on with his monologue while he shifts the clips stuck in my wet hair and takes off the curls with his scissors. I think within me, “I will kill you if you mess up my hair, while talking about the stupid women you might have messed around with”
I remember the dude telling me about a woman he was having an affair with once, a while back, I was grossed out at that, listening to him just rant on and on, about some woman who could not get enough of him, and how he was careful so as not to affect her dignity by being seen in public with her (which he claimed not to be good for her) and instead he decided to take her to a room with him so that they can have the conversation in private (my foot I am sure conversation was the last thing he had in his mind). Anyways nothing against a man who wants to screw around, but it is a little gross to think that this man is talking quite unashamed of his ventures while he had a wife and a teenaged daughter. After listening to his rant the other day, I was like, so “does not your wife ever notice?”, he goes “ Oh, I keep her happy. She cooks and takes care of my daughter. She is a good wife” (!!!!) I wanted to ask him if he was a good husband but refrained from pronouncing that line. Instead I thought “what a loser”.
So the latest theory of his on women, he thinks that most of these aunty types who come to his salon are hitting on him. (may be they are, one of them walked in while he was making a mess of my hair) And tells me that he feels sorry for the women, “poor women, their husbands are not keeping them happy. Imagine how your life would be if you were to live with a man who cannot satisfy you!” Sigh. I pity the torture the ears of mine were going through. I presume it needs not be explained. But then again this guy was providing me a new perspective on life.
According to him these aunties are sexually frustrated because their hubbies are incapable of satisfying them. (I am sure while they are busy satisfying women who are the age of their daughters, anyhow) And the solution they come up with is screwing around with a married hairstylist who is a wannabe Arnold Schwarzenegger, but a very short version at that.
He would have gone into detailed analysis of his theory had I not enlightened him on my lack of interest in his proclamations. (though it was done in a very non bitchy way as a precautionary measure not to mess up my hair as much as I possibly could. But then again he had already messed it up to some extent with his excitement in his story telling. Screw you, you idiot!)
The guy as a closing line decided to get into a bet with me that one of these days, in the future, when I will not have potential beaux to keep me entertained, and I be not satisfied with a man that I would do the same. (go in search of a possible man who would satisfy me..his theory of course) He spoke in the most sagely tones, and said that when the frustration hits me hard, I the prude shall vanish and that I will be one who is no more different from those aunties.
I laughed at him. I could not picture myself sleeping with a man like him even if he was the last person on the planet. I would definitely head for animals I think.
But then months later, at present day while I type this, while being in love with someone who seem to be a hardcore believer abstinence, I wonder whether for the stupidest second, whether he did have a point.
I wonder as weird as it may sound, if his mouth made more sense than his scissors did justice to the task set upon them.
PS. And NO I am NOT interested