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Vositha's Blog

~ a story of life, love and other things

Vositha's Blog

Monthly Archives: May 2012

Day 5 ” The psycho nut job”

09 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

change, endure, good, handicapped, hope, nut job, psycho

Yesterday someone pointed out to me that I had skipped a day. Honestly I have no clue what happened to the day. I do recall that the day was lived, but I think I am losing my mind in small doses and I keep falling into oblivion before I would really grasp back little what is left of it.

A long day of work with too little sleep and then a law paper to forcefully wake me up. I meet someone I used to know, minus the wedding band. He reminds me that I am a psycho nut job, and I realise I do not have the energy to retort. I am at the handicapped international conference, so maybe I fit in perfectly. I apparently form part of the world, that needs rehabilitation, don’t we all on different levels on different times of our lives.

I think of the last few months, and I think of hope and change. change is good as long as it is for the good. Even if it is not, we still do survive. The next few months will be endured, tough but yet lived through. And the next few months hopefully will bring hope, that change is possible, and this time it better be for the better..

Day 3 and / Day 4

08 Tuesday May 2012

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

8th, blank, buzz, complain, dog, good, heartache, life, pain, puppy, sms, stare, Tantrum, telephone

I like the 8th of every month. For some reason they treat me well. Despite a night of body pains and waking up unable to move my fingers without pain, I was glad enough that I managed to write two papers, without staring at a blank page for a good one and a half hours.

Lot of things don’t seem to affect me of late, emotionally I mean. I came out of the examination to find an SMS received stating that I won’t be picked. But I had already made up my mind to call a cab, thus no heartache over a lost ride home or lost time spent over lunch. I do not get hurt when I meet someone after days, and when I start telling the most important thing that comes to my mind, the volume of the stereo being increased. Silent message, I like this song/ I do not want to hear your story. The older me would have got hurt, thrown a tantrum and reduced the volume and had a long one sided conversation on how rude it was to do such, and that I was being ignored. The new me, just shut up. If the person needed to hear the story he would have questioned on it, no questions, meaning I was wasting time and words. I do not get affected by my phone not ringing, or the non buzzing of SMS that are not received. Time is precious, I address bigger issues such as rent that needs to be paid, debts that need to be covered and then life that needs to be lived.

So yes, as I was saying 8th is a good day. Mum is back home, and complaining away and bugging everyone to their limits of patience. Her first statement upon arrival concerns me and a dog. I am not to put food for the dog outside, as it would vomit on the balcony. I think the puppy has sensed her arrival and has refrained from his daily visit in the night where he played guard the last few weeks when dad was playing nurse. I miss the puppy more than I miss a lot of things. It keeps coming to me, even if I keep shutting him out, and wags its tail and does a whole dance for me. I wonder if dogs can sense our inner most thoughts. He comes and does an “I need more attention session” every time I am feeling down. I think it is an intelligent dog. His quality of wagging its tail to the whole neighborhood, signifies that. “I come in peace, give me affection and food!” (my interception of its behavior of course)

The third day of my new life, almost at an end. Another day accomplished, pros and cons weighed, I think I can live with what I am getting in life. After all, who can complain on a day, which is the 8th of the month!

PS. Apparently I have skipped day, which means I am definitely losing my mind. So edit of the title, this has to be a combination of day 3 and day 4 me thinks 🙂

Day 2

06 Sunday May 2012

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

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Tags

cough, examination, hug, jinxed, miss, sick, strangle

Days are easy to deal with while nights are a little harder. But as long as you get through the night, the sunshine be always a warm welcome. Realized last night that I do miss being hugged to sleep, and waking up in strangle of arms of laziness. Sometimes it is tough, but you still live on. I try. I live.

Mum is back in hospital, and not coughing at home anymore. Dad seems more worried about me. Worried that I would catch whatever it is she has when I am to be off antibiotics. Under room arrest I try to study, for an exam that has been jinxed for a while now.

The question remains, will I or will I not, make it to the examination center, at least this time?

Day 1

05 Saturday May 2012

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

darkness, hope, life, lost, love, new born, new life

Time ran out at mid night on my 28th b’day. It’s the first of many days to come. I am hopeful and will embrace life as it comes. Life is about me, and not about what others do who surround me. Experiences are earned, and will help me guide the way, not to trip and fall again, and again, and again.

A life can start from nowhere and lead to nowhere, but it will bring a shine out wherever it may lead, and affect others even the slightest way. I will strive to find that shine, or the light at the end of the tunnel, if there be such light.

Darkness is good. It helps us find the light, our lost self from within, and the deepest thoughts of our being. But one does reach out to the light, and find one’s way back, even though through the meekest rays of light.

Life is commenced alone, and ended alone, in moments of life we meet people who leave an impact, but it’ remains upto us to weigh and measure what we retract, from each one of us, and from within us.

Love is good, even if lost, and does not last. One has not faulted, but only learned a lesson. To move on, and build one’s life, where one is needed, and accepted, and embraced and not rejected.

Welcome new life! May you grow with us, and lead to a better day 😉

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