So the blog post I wrote on how the titles matter or NOT have cause a few opinions to come forth. While one of my friends in the medical profession claimed that in any receipt or form the title being correctly put would play a key role, as some people are pretty anal about being considered Miss when Mrs, or vice versa another one of my friends claimed that one of her friends had been even refused medical care upon answering in the negative to the question “are you married?” So if you are wondering what am I ranting on about here goes the story of one girl living in the city of Colombo, unmarried and seeking medical advice. In the midst of that interaction another friend provided me this story.
So let’s call this person Nadi. Nadi has apparently had doubts whether she was having a sexually transmitted disease, and hence wanted to get a medical opinion. She goes to a gynaecologist and explains her situation. The doctor asks her “are you married?” and she says “no”. The result: the appointment is at an end, she is refused treatment and left with her continuing woe of not knowing if has or has not a sexually transmitted disease. Kind of obscenely weird I must say, but then again it has been an actual occurrence and lived by a person living in the city of Colombo.
However among such doctors, there are also those who do not pay attention to details of marriage and would just take the medical issue of concern to concentration. I have been blessed to have such from my gynaecologist, and he has been pretty open about lot of things, while making me feel comfortable about my pregnancy. Though I am married, he has not ever asked me if I was or not, and even upon noting the absence of the paternal party of late, he has been like “chill men! Kid’s are strong, you take care of yourself!” I respect the man for not trying to make me feel worse than I should given my plight, and for making me feel reassured. Focus on the issue and not other rubbish, seems to be his motto. I am grateful that there are doctors like him. I think I am lucky, while some of us seem to end up with a bad dose of medical experts who try to force down people’s throats, their moral dilemmas and discriminate those who come to them for medical advice.
However the deal does not seem to be restricted to the hospitals alone. It extends to pharmacies when one needs to purchase contraceptive pills, where the supplier of medicine glances at the fingers to check the wedding ring and then provide one of those condescending looks that your great grandmother would give.
I wonder what it is like for men to buy condoms in Sri Lankan shops. Not sure if they also go through the same drama or is it just a privileged allocated to women. Then again is this pharmacist’s attitude which cause Sri Lankan’s to have unprotected sex? One never knows, but it could be a possible factor which plays a role. On speaking of sex, my father in law provided me with a wonderful statement which is a little short of being divine “ men will say things, but good women should know how to behave!” I think he kind of summed up the society’s opinion of sex and the fault game in one line. Men will have sex, it is upto the woman to NOT have sex!
So yes, I am sure that the Miss and Mrs plays a part in people’s lives and forms filled, but upon hearing the stories it does seem to be weighing a little too much on people’s lives as sometimes your status of marriage seem to block you from accessing medical advice or gaining treatment where it be necessary. Time for some thinking, don’t you think?