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Vositha's Blog

~ a story of life, love and other things

Vositha's Blog

Monthly Archives: February 2013

“A Child’s Right”

28 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by vositha in Fiction

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

cheating husbands, divorce, motherhood, parenting, rights of the child

I was seven months pregnant when my husband left me. He was very affectionate on the day of departure, till he boarded the plane. It was the point where I found out that most of the day’s conversation was a lie, there were no parents who were to drop him to the airport, there was no paranoia on my part, he did have another woman, and he knew very well where his priorities lay (though in a completely different order from mine).

I was a little too pregnant, a little too hormonal, a little too dumb to realize it then. But it was the final time I would be speaking to him, and the last time I would hug him (he did hug me tighter than every single one of the hugs before and during marriage). And it was the last day I was a married woman, at least in real life.

Today my son is almost 6 months old. His dad, he has never seen. I hear from gossip that come through telephone calls of anonymity that his dad was around for Christmas, was seen around with another. Others question me of his dad’s second marriage (not too sure how one gets married prior to finalizing his divorce, but well, the common belief lies to the contrary).

My divorce hearings will start soon, in a few days, and I will realize studying law, practicing law and being a party to a legal process are completely different entities which hath no parallel that can be drawn among them. You become your client, you depend on your lawyer, and hope to god that he would not muck up the life, with a judgment call, for you and for your son.

So here I await, the passive person, the drama that would unfold or not.

Life is short, and I believe my husband made a judgment that be right. For his sake of course, but still humans are selfish, and he a little more than others I presume, but yet, I am sure he has his reasons, be it psychological disorders or lack of upbringing, I am sure he hath his reasons. Whether we should be together, if one cannot be faithful to the other, well that is not even worth the words in the question. There be no need to pretend, to go around calling one’s wife a bitch, best be part ways, be with the mistress, marry her, if that is what makes one’s day.

But while I believe in the cause and the pursuit of happiness, I reject taking one’s son’s life in trivial mode, deciding to bring a child to the world, and then running away from responsibility. One could live with cheating on one’s wife, not sure how one lives with abandoning a child.

In future, I shalt leave it to my son to know his dad or not. He may decide whether he would like to pay a visit to the man who left his mother while she carried him in her, and chose to cut ties with both. It would be his choice, and his father’s.

Every child has a right to know his parents, and I shall respect it.

“I love you”

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by vositha in Fiction

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

emotions, i love you, love, relationships, smile

“I love you” he says.

She was a stranger to feelings.

At a certain point in life, where life was simpler, she believed she loved him, in a very stupid unrealistic way. The way Bollywood movies make people believe.

Silence, the norm.

“I know you love me” he says.

He had decided for her. As usual.

“Do I?”

“Don’t you?”

Sad eyes, slightly lost with child like expression on face, unable to decide what be the next line.

“I do” she says. Sheer words uttered merely for his sake.

A smile.

“Nocturnal”

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by vositha in Fiction, Relationships

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

indifference, kiss, moments

He was at his nocturnal rounds, pacing in all aimlessness. She seated at the steps, with puffs of smoke that blow without rhythm, interrupted by occasional coughing. A sign that reminded her that She had lost touch with her inner being, i.e. the tobacco being. She tried thinking Zen as his steps be heard around her.

His t-shirt, she did not like. But, kept mum, she was too tired. He was becoming tiring. Or rather had become tiring. Pacing slows, gives way to words.

“I am going to bed” he says.

“ahuh”.

Nothing more nothing less.

A kiss on the shoulder she feels but remains the statue she was, the whole night, while he toyed with emotions with indifference.

“You want me to leave the pack for you?” his voice, questions, no answers.

A kiss on the forehead. A shadow lost in the shadows in the dark.

Cigarette butts in hand, she walked, to the sea.

“Stale-mate”

22 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

emotions, love, passion

I think of him. the puffs of smokes, the stalking eyes and the bitter cynical behavior that follows. I tell him “black” and see him in “white” .

A paradox of all sorts, he and I live, which we name not, a thing that needs no definition, a passion not lived and brought to a stale-mate.

A moment of happiness and gentleness that I had not felt in a long time. I live. I feel. I taste. The tingling of skin, the brushing of lips and the eyes that watch me, as I feel his lips on the back of my neck, butterfly kisses long felt, and guiltless.

We live separated, by a very thin line, undefined, invisible where he lives for a moment that he awaits, and I, a life of duty.

To the Other Side

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

ferry, nothingness, silence, work travel

When your phone battery dies on you, and the hotel decides not to have internet, you know you are on your own for a while. Life gets pretty simplistic, and then thoughts start to flow, which is not disrupted by a chat message you have the urgency of sending had you been elsewhere, with happy access to technology. Here you are, and you have no choice, and you will take the option with my gratitude and shut the world out, and join the peace with much awaited glee, that you shock yourself on realizing how much space in your life, you lacked.

Sometimes life is about having space, having space to listen to those thoughts that you kept suppressed within yourself because you had no mode of penning them down, or rather typing them down in today’s context. I like to be left alone, I like the sound of silence than anything else, and the waves clashing against something unknown which I have not yet ventured to find out, seems a new thought. It is peace that has been given to me, for I have toiled, I had toiled in harsh conditions whereby I had lost myself, and submerged into a being that does what be required, what be expected, what be right. I lived for obligations and not for choice, no options that be offered to me, and I had only what is a must, a should and a duty piled upon as I carry the weight on my shoulders, that people deem courage, that I name “nothingness”.

Life is peaceful where crickets make their music, the waves are heard, and the ferry awaits me to make the crossing, to the other side.

Image

“Just the Two of Us”

10 Sunday Feb 2013

SAM_1427

Posted by vositha | Filed under Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

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