Aiden looks at Akashiv on my phone.
“He is big now!” he says.
The two have not yet met though Aiden has made faces at the little one over skype. Times and circumstances need to be worked out to make the introduction. I was not quite sure on what Aiden’s reaction would be to a toddler. He, acting like one at times. Cute as it maybe, I feel at times mother to both of them. My little one, and the big baby who I turn to when needing emotional support.
It’s funny how much the two of them have in common. Aiden and Akashiv both need smothering attention and love. Aiden’s mum having spoilt him as a kid, and I being guilty of spoiling my kid. I feel more his mum at times than his partner, when he tucks his face against me like my little one does. And I react , kissing his forehead as I do with my son. I receive the same reaction, a smile from both parties.
“He has your eyes”
I nod leaning on to his shoulder. He kisses my cheek.
I realize life is not simple anymore. The former me would have spent my time with Aiden, and been with him for the weekend, investing more time into our relationship. But now decisions are bound to my son. I no longer could decide to pack and leave, or run away into Aiden’s arms. Priorities have changed, and I am needed home, with my son.
Cherishing the warmth that I will miss in a few hours, I wonder whether I would return home one day, to both of them. Life has taught me that I could only hope.