Tag Archives: work

Of the Past and the Non-memories

11 Saturday Jan 2020

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Of late I have been thinking about how life has changed over the last decade, or rather over the last 3 decades.

I certainly do not remember much of my childhood, or the teenage years. Come to think of it, not even my early twenties for that matter. It might be strange, but then again, I hardly remember what I ate for breakfast most of the days (this is on days I do actually eat something, that is). 

In my search to remember the person I was as a kid, a teenager, and a younger version of myself, I asked a former student of mine whether she remembers me as a bubbly person. A more chirpy, and happy-go-lucky human that is.

After a few minutes of thinking, she shook her head and said, “Nah, not really. You were pretty much the same.”

I guess I was serious/ morose back then too (most likely). Now, I take myself at the moment to be a cynical, occasionally witty, workaholic, easily irritable, one-track minded (when focused on work, or analysing something in my head while eating) human with very limited patience for nonsense. (I guess a few of the adjectives might match my younger version too. But I was definitely more naive, and more believing of others’ words than today).

Many years of my life from the years 0 to 30 are a blur to me. Present is more with facts, laws, analysis and then trying to fit in work, kid, and dogs to the 24 hours of the day, while responding to all the messages and calls received.

I have come to terms of moving on from different things, and not looking back to a past where I do not feel at home, and did not truly feel to be my true self in some ways.

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Today, I try to live in the present, and build the moments I want to live, and be surrounded by those who I choose to be with. Life is too short and I would like to live it with those whom I cherish, and doing what I love most.

Cz it’s 2020

01 Wednesday Jan 2020

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It’s been quite a while since I last wrote, but I am hoping I will make it a habit to write more frequently in 2020. (Here’s to hope!)

On 2019, the year was good in many ways and kind to me in general. Work was good, life was good. Drama in life if there was, revolved mostly around work budgets, research deadlines, reviews and other related things.

(Note: I try to avoid considering drama related to humans, attempts at understanding their behavior and then failing as a constant of life, and to ignore it) 

ryan(Ryan being his skeptical self, as Dylan holds his leash for 30 seconds)

2019 saw also our house-hold multiply with the addition of two (rescue) dogs – Ryan (not a name that I chose) and Yuki (a tiny puppy that decided to make our home, hers as well). Both dogs abandoned at some point in their lives, seem to settle in with us – to the point of taking over our beds, sofas and pretty much all the furniture in the house.

yuki(Yuki, being lazy to wake up)

Me, I have not changed much. I still have trouble sleeping, a workaholic as usual,continue to love my space an increased amount each year, and have seriously limited patience for bullshit.

me(Documenting myself as of 1st January for comparisons in 2021)

 

Things I hope I will be able to keep to/ learn to do in 2020

  1. Avoid pretentious people at all costs.
  2. Learn to say “no”
  3. Sleep more (much more)
  4. Avoid toxic behaviour and people at all fronts – especially at work
  5. Work less – if possible. (Make it try to work less, and try to keep sane.)
  6. Be good, even if others are not to you

And yes, hopefully write on this blog more frequently (when possible, if possible).

Thank you 2016!

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

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So it is a new year, and 2017 has come faster than expected. 2016 was interesting enough, I have not written much as I would have liked to, no time, boredom, insomnia, overwork, the list is long. But the year has taught me a few things.

  1. One needs to be able to make the best of what is offered: Life can be tough, I think we do know, or rather should try to make the best we can of it. Life is short, too short to be pondering what ifs.
  2. Love can happen, when you least expect: 2016 has been a surprise year for me, on the relationship front. Having been with men who have taught me what type of a partner I should not be with, I found someone who proved the other way round. Thank you for coincidences, and taking chances. 2016 taught me that love happens, and that the choices we make in life several times, the ones that fail most times, those ones should certainly be avoided. Lesson learnt.
  3. Friendships change, some last only till the other can afford his coffee: This year has been one where I have realised that some people I have considered close, well those have not been exactly close. It has also taught me that it is fine to let go of these people, and that sometimes one person who understands you and is there for you is to be more appreciated than those who make you miserable, or your life more difficult.
  4. There is something called autism, and Sri Lanka might not be best understanding how to deal with it: I shall deal with this topic more often in 2017, since I think awareness creation on this topic is much needed, and more experts on dealing with autism even more needed.
  5. Taking a step back is fine, you need it: I have been working like a lunatic, for the last few years, and those who do not really fund the expenses of my kid or mine, have had lectures for me, on how I need to be taking a break. Oh well, you still do not spend for me, and I am fine with spending for my kid. But I have taken a break from those stressful things that ruled my life since 2013, and plan to eliminate the rest that are reminiscences of that era by end of 2017. Yes, I shall!
  6. Take a step forward, take that risk again: Yes I am a single parent, but I can still take risks, and make new initiatives. It took me a long while to make some decisions, but once they were made, they have reminded me the person I used to be, the one who was not scared to take risks till I was a mother, and a single parent having to fend for the kid, and then too scared that the kid might starve if I took that risk. But 2016 has taught me that I will be not starving my kid by not killing me with the daily stress, and that at the same time I am able to make decisions that matter.
  7. Work could be fun with the right team: Thank you guys for making my life a less stressful one. Hope 2017 treats us as kind as 2016, or even better!
  8. Fight for a cause, even if you are the only one: Believing in something is a way to keep sanity in tact, and it certainly was one that helped me to keep as sane as I possibly could. And it does not matter that everyone is not on the same path as I am on, or that they are believer, I choose to believe that I can still make a difference.
  9. It is the billionaires that borrow stuff, and never return them. Give stuff to those who need it, and can’t afford it, and not to those who are stingy to spend on thing that matter.
  10. Submit that collection of poetry even if you have only two hours to meet the deadline, and you know your poetry sucks: It is only a matter of deciding, and doing what you think you should. One ticked off the bucket list.

A big thank you for those who have been there for me in 2016, in all the ups and downs, and also the deep bottomless pits. You guys have proved me that even if life is not perfect, that it sure could be worth every second of it.

“Being a working woman and a mother have made my life complete” – Iryna Stavchuk

10 Monday Aug 2015

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Iryna works as head of Climate Change Development National Ecological Center of Ukraine, an NGO which focuses on climate change related issues. She has worked there for almost ten years. She is a mother, and a full time working woman. She shared her thoughts on what it means to be a working woman, and following her passion.

Choosing a career

“I always wanted to focus on environmental issues, and I also realised that without having a proper education it is difficult to work in the field I chose, as well as reach a higher level in my profession,” she said.

Iryna was previously studying computer science, and she decided to change her sector.

“I set a goal  for myself that I will study abroad on how environmental issues should be dealt with  in the European Union. I succeeded, and got a scholarship to a Swedish university in Lund to study environmental management and policy. After coming back to Ukraine, I focused on finding myself a job in the environmental sector.”

Working in an NGO

Iryna feels that working in an NGO on environment allows her the freedom of expression, and stating out loud what needs to be done.

“Other entities are tied to what they have to say, but as NGOs we can speak openly. Proposing policies and criticising is openly done,” she adds.

She lives in Ukraine, and her country has been a focus of the global attention due to many reasons in the recent past, among which lies the political crisis it lives with Russia.

“The conflict with Russia, it’s horrible,” she added.

People die and a war is happening. We are living a crisis. But on the other hand, people are also united, and stronger as a nation. We are a nation trying to change the country, and not individualistic,” she continued.

A working woman in Ukraine

Iryna believes that being a woman does not hinder achieving career goals in Ukraine. She explained that many strong women hold important positions in different work positions in her country.

But she does feel that being a mother does impact one’s career.

“I think women do not get promoted because there is the possibility that they will ask for maternity leave. Promoting a woman creates issues if she is not going to be in the office, and is on maternal leave,” she explained.

A wife, a mother

When asked about how she feels about being a mother, and being a working mother she says that it is a wonderful experience.

“It is wonderful. It’s like a life has become whole, and complete. You feel that you can be a good mother, invest time, love and care for the family and at the same time do what you want to do in the professional life,” she told.

She is a committed mother who enjoys her time with her child. She added that she really enjoyed the time she spent with her child for one year away from work.

“I restarted working when she was one. I was very lucky to have an organisation which provides me flexibility,” she added.

Iryna believes that her work travel has helped her husband form a close relationship with their daughter.

“When I started travelling, and he started taking care of Anna alone their relationship has become closer, and very much stronger. He used to have certain views about the role of the woman, and the role of the woman in the family. But these experiences have made him very understanding towards work, women, and family life. Now he is very supportive of my professional life,” explained Iryna.

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“Seeing my father fight injustice inspired me.” – Bhagya Wickramasinghe

09 Saturday May 2015

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bhagya photoBhagya Wickramasinghe is a lecturer in law, an Attorney-at-Law, and works as a researcher for Sri Lankan Youth Climate Action Network, an organisation focusing on climate change, youth empowerment, and social justice. She shared her experience of being a young professional and multi-tasking which has allowed her to do work on the causes she believes in.

Education: key to empowerment

Bhagya sees education as playing a key role in empowering people, especially those of vulnerable groups. She highlighted this to be the motivation to choose a career in education.

“As a strong believer in education as a means of empowerment of people, and access to social justice, I wanted to start my career with teaching which was an idea I have carried since my school days. I believe teaching to be one of the greatest services one could do. Law has always been my passion and motivation since from small age I believed that the way to social justice needs to achieved through a country’s legal system,” she said.

Struggles to inspiration

Bhagya says her inspiration to study law, and pursue a career in law stems from the struggles her father faced while she was growing up.

“As a teenager I experienced the bitterness of politics when my father, a judicial officer was unduly victimised by judicial politics. This experience of seeing my father fight injustice inspired me to continue the fight,” she added.

Born in Kandy, she moved to Colombo for her studies. She finds learning to live in the big city without her parents itself to be one of the challenges she faced.

“I came to Colombo when I was 18, a naïve girl who had just passed out form school with big dreams and no practical sense. I was molly coddled by parents and taken care for by them. I was overwhelmed by the Colombo city, its rush, its fast pace and the fact that I had to fend for myself,” she explained.

Being a woman and a young lawyer

When asked whether being a woman had impacted her professional life, Bhagya responded in the affirmative.

“I have faced the tragedy of gender stereotyping in Sri Lanka in many ways, especially in terms of the way in which a young professional woman is viewed by the various segments in the society,” she said.

“The expectations of the society form a female professional is different. I have been viewed as too weak and gentle to handle being a professional and a lawyer. There have been instances where I have been discouraged from various fields of work and research only because I am a woman,” she added.

She believes that being a working woman does not prevent being happy in one’s personal life. She explained that knowing to respect and allocate due importance to professional as well as personal life ensures a balance between the two.

“There have been instances where I have been told that a female engaged in a hectic professional life would end up compromising the social expectations and fulfilling duties of being a woman,” she added. An opinion with which she chooses to disagree.

Knowledge and humanity

Bhagya aspires to engage in her higher education and further research that will help her contribute to the causes she believes in, and aspires to see social justice for all.

“I believe knowledge is a prerequisite of wisdom, and knowledge surrounds us in our daily lives. Wisdom is often found in the experience of others. We need to be sensitive to grasp that knowledge to be more humane and to be nice to each other,” she added.

“Full time mum”

08 Thursday Nov 2012

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First week in office, and first staff meeting with new colleagues, and of course that need to be introducing one’s self which comes without fail. The turn comes to you, and then you go “I am Vositha, working in bla bla bla since three days (smile)”.

Then the question that follows, just because your introduction that be too brief, and the information be exactly and the only that is known of you (provided of course that one has not had a sneak peek of your CV).

“What were you doing before you joined here?”

At that moment, the LLBs, the LLMs, consultancies or all the bar exams you have sat for do not come to your mind, the only thing you end up with is one thought, your son and the only answer that comes to your mind, “I was a full time mum”.

Yes, “mum” seems to top all forms of identity. It seems to go above all those years of burying your nose in piles of books, years of work that you would put one after another in your CV.

Funny how it does not even take an effort, or hesitation. One word seems to say it all, and you are “MUM”.