I was on one of my rants to my best friend when she suggested that I type out this post. So not refusing her on the day before the new year,( that all seem to celebrate with enthusiasm, definitely with more enthusiasm than I would hold,) I embark on the allocated task.
To commence I think I need to state that I am no expert on the matter, I have been dating the wrong men all my life, and still am on a glorious task of accomplishing a chain of dating wrong men. I have stupidly let the correct men walk out of my life, they might have not been the Mr. Right but they were “somewhat” right, and were among the very few who did actually proceed to treat me in a humane sense. As all be, I was also a fool and then realised that buffoonery on my part only months after I let go of the man, dated some fool who would hurt me and then would lament the rejection of a nice man’s proposal in marriage.
Anyways quest for Mr. Right:
Is there a Mr. Right? Well this is a question I ask myself most of the time. Correction, let me say all the time. I am quite not sure about the answer to this though. But I have to say that there are definitely the Mr. Wrongs. They are all over. They come in all forms. It can be in that “I am so needy, I need you” to the “I would take care of you, I want you in my life” form. But the worse I think being the kind who want to date you later tell they have been with “men” and then say they “don’t mind men” and then say “ I cheated on you with a man!” Yes having been through all that I am sure you will forgive me for not believing that I do not believe in a Mr. Right.
When I was in my teens I had the most nerdiest Mr. Right in my head, he was to be tall, thin and all musical. And he was to be able to sing, play the guitar and an avid reader. Wonder from where all that came into my head, and a few years down the line I ended up dating someone completely the opposite. He was not at all thin, was the kind to prefer a rugby ball to a book, well he did like music, but failed to play the guitar or to sing. Then again, he did appreciate singing and would bug the hell out of me to sing him songs, till after a certain point I started hating my own voice. What was wrong with him? I do not know. May be it was a matter of choice in life. At 17 we do not know what we do want in life, and I think I broke his heart pretty bad unable to deal with his possessiveness. I always had the tendency to do the exact thing that people would doubt I would do. See if one wonders if I would cheat on him, then I do end up cheating on him. Cannot help, I ain’t perfect. Just an explanation to my weird behaviour.
So yes I do not believe there is a Mr. Right image left in most of us. Many ask me what type of men I would fall for. This question always baffles me as I am clueless as to its answer. But I can definitely say what type of man I do not want in my life.
Here goes what my Mr. Right shall not be:
a. A mummy’s boy : as much as I find it cute that you love your mum, I find it horrendous when you go a little overboard and start calling me “mummy” Do not ask me much on this, but let’s just say it was not at all funny.
b. A bisexual: I am an open minded person. Have nothing against people’s choice of life. But then it kind of depresses me to hear that a man has cheated on me with another “man” it is a little too difficult to compete against. And horrendous to be hearing too.
c. A detached being: Do not fancy men who think once a week coffee is being in a relationship. Or texting random facts of life, or news articles to read is what you call keeping in touch with one’s girlfriend. It can be cute for a while, but in a few weeks, you end up wanting to throttle the man, or to turn a suicide bomber and save yourself and the rest of the world from him.
d. TV addict: I do not think that it is that difficult to fathom, this might make you feel that “bisexual man” is a better option. You can’t beat a television, it will always have different things to entertain him with, more than you could. When you switch moods, he will simply switch channels.
e. Someone who types in Sinhala when sending SMSes: call me a snob but there is something that turns me off completely when someone does this. Well leave aside the turn off factor, the confusion it entails simply drives me nuts. Sticking to one language when communicating always helps. Specially if the person is bad at communicating to start off with.
Well got to say the list contains many more, but I have no time to type all of it out. May be I might lengthen this list in the days to come, after thinking over the current data available to me, and then the moments of the past that I do relive and wish never haunted me.
But I have to mention a line told to me that would never be forgotten. My bestie Sonali to me to close the year says “you are not in love with him, you cannot be in love with a man with a small dick!” LOL Though I am not quite sure about the accuracy of the statement, I need to say it was quite a statement coming out of her mouth.
So do I add one more to the list among many yet to come?
f. Someone who does not have a small penis?
Ok this post confirms my being an official bitch. But then again, I had to type this out, just to please someone special. I hope it made your day 🙂 (see I do listen to you at times, rephrase on a very rare occasion)