Category Archives: #WomenAtWork

Women at Work: Tone Policing

14 Wednesday Dec 2016

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Are you a female? Have you had one of those colleagues who likes to get personal when you want to discuss something in factual sense? Have you been told “let’s not get emotional?” when you were trying to make a point (in all ignorance to what emotions he was referring). Well, I have.

If you have faced similar situations, then you have been exposed to what is called “tone-policing”. (A term that I have learnt of late, thanks to wonderful instances of work life.)

So the standard definition of tone policing goes as, “Tone policing is a silencing tactic. That means it is part of a set of tools used by people holding privilege to prevent marginalized individuals or groups from sharing their experiences of oppression.”

(In this case, I am focusing on how women are silenced by adding words such as “emotional,” “irrational,” or even  “hysterical,” when they are trying to make their case, or simply trying to get an explanation as to why a situation is as it is.)

And the Urban Dictionary adds a bit more by defines the term by defining those who consider themselves to be worthy of tone policing.

“Tone police are people who focus on (and critique) how something is said, ignoring whether or not it is true.They will discard a true statement simply because they don’t like how it was presented.”

The bad thing is when you are a woman at work, and write a simple mail and then get words such as “emotional,” being used in a reply, the feminists roots in your system start to signal that something is not right. It also indicates that you have let one two many of these comments pass with people who likes to think they have a vested interest in patronising you, or just like think that they have unwritten but for some reason assumed right to be sending such messages.

Words such as emotional, hysterical, have the effect of suddenly making a woman look incompetent, even when she is making a point which is valid. Then the assumption is that she acting up on her hormones, and then they will take the liberty to crack a joke of her being on post menstrual stress, diminishing the value of any valid point a woman is trying to raise.

This is even worse when it happens in civil society organisations where people are calling for gender sensitive policies, and gender equality. It is one thing to speak of upholding women rights, and being gender sensitive,  when funding proposals are being submitted. But in practice the fact that the issues are ignored in the worse way possible, and that most staff have no clue as to what constitute gender sensitive behaviour  points to the fact that there needs to be education of these actors who call for gender sensitivity while being those who are of the same group of those ignoring issues of gender, and behaving in a manner that violates values they call to be upheld.

When I mentioned I plan to do a research on tone policing, and share stories of women who might have faced this situation at work, a journalist asked me whether I will be dealing with the police. I found this an interesting question. I left that to be answered by the experiences I might be able to find, through volunteers who would share their stories, or through a survey I plan to do in the coming months.

So in short, I hope to share stories of how you were tone policed at work (if you think you have been,) provided that you would like to share your story with me. It’s because I believe this will help people realise that we take lot of things for granted, as well as put up with lot of things at work, simply because we have patience. But, that does not make that people are doing the right thing. And nor does it mean that you need to endure it in silence.

Drop me a line, and I would be happy to see how your story could be shared in this collection of stories which I am hoping I will be able to put together, and share as blog posts and a research paper.

Thank you in advance!

Climate Change, Brown Skin and the Global South

27 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in #WomenAtWork, Climate Change, Sustainable Development

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It has been years since I had entered the world of climate change where people talk of the Global South and the Global North, the two sides of development in the world geography: developing and the developed world. We professionals, we become part of it, based on our skin colour, and geographical location (consciously or unconsciously). Our mode of thinking, well it comes to play some importance time to time.

I have often been taken as too Southern-ist in some discussions, while some have accused me at times of not being enough Southern-ist. I have tried to keep the middle ground, the one that sees both sides of the story, till I have lost my patience recently,  seeing that colour and the geographical location have at most times turned a token on a panel, or a representation for a grant application.

You see the ever so caring grant applications putting the face of a brown human on their report. Addressing the needs of the vulnerable they call it. Capacity building plays a role too, if it is an eternal process for applying for funding. The South needs their capacity built. Apparently all are incompetent most of the time, unless to serve the purpose of funding applications.

I have been frustrated many times of late. The way the brown skin, a woman of brown skin fills a slot on a panel to fit that gender balance, the geographical balance, and then not to be given the due value in a context where decisions are being made. We speak of participatory processes, set up superficially a list of meetings to say a programme is as inclusive as it possibly could be, and promote the multi-stakeholder engagement while internal decisions are driven with no voice for those who are supposed to be the focus of work implemented. Where are those values you seem to be harping on?

I have watched sexual harassment happening in the Southern NGOs, not paid attention to, ignored when reported, and in turn developing a cycle of belief that it is not being worth reported. I have watched old men of repute squeezing interns bums, the horrified girls reporting of the happening to the seniors they trust, and the old man squeezing bums seen at the recurring conference every year. No actions taken, no questions asked.

We talk of saving the world, saving the values, social justice, when we work in a world half the slogans are hypocrisy, and faces and people are mere tokens for promoting one’s cause. I have watched colleagues leave in silence, without saying what they feel to those who need to be told about the horrors of their behaviour. I have seen many talented and passionate humans walk away from their work, frustrated and having had enough of what has been happening.

Me? I have had it for a long while. The sexual harassment that is not recorded, the way the southern folk are habitually synonymised with not being able to promote their own cause and needing a mouth-piece from the North to promote their interests, or just being a decorative element on a panel to show inclusivity and gender balance.

I write this because I have seen enough, and watching in silence is not the solution. If one is walking out of a system, then they need to make them feel heard and not step down in silence.

We speak of climate justice and social justice. I think it’s time we set up a library of dictionaries so that we do get a grasp of what we refer to as “justice”!

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“I am brown, a woman, and have my own voice.”

 

“Being a working woman and a mother have made my life complete” – Iryna Stavchuk

10 Monday Aug 2015

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Iryna works as head of Climate Change Development National Ecological Center of Ukraine, an NGO which focuses on climate change related issues. She has worked there for almost ten years. She is a mother, and a full time working woman. She shared her thoughts on what it means to be a working woman, and following her passion.

Choosing a career

“I always wanted to focus on environmental issues, and I also realised that without having a proper education it is difficult to work in the field I chose, as well as reach a higher level in my profession,” she said.

Iryna was previously studying computer science, and she decided to change her sector.

“I set a goal  for myself that I will study abroad on how environmental issues should be dealt with  in the European Union. I succeeded, and got a scholarship to a Swedish university in Lund to study environmental management and policy. After coming back to Ukraine, I focused on finding myself a job in the environmental sector.”

Working in an NGO

Iryna feels that working in an NGO on environment allows her the freedom of expression, and stating out loud what needs to be done.

“Other entities are tied to what they have to say, but as NGOs we can speak openly. Proposing policies and criticising is openly done,” she adds.

She lives in Ukraine, and her country has been a focus of the global attention due to many reasons in the recent past, among which lies the political crisis it lives with Russia.

“The conflict with Russia, it’s horrible,” she added.

People die and a war is happening. We are living a crisis. But on the other hand, people are also united, and stronger as a nation. We are a nation trying to change the country, and not individualistic,” she continued.

A working woman in Ukraine

Iryna believes that being a woman does not hinder achieving career goals in Ukraine. She explained that many strong women hold important positions in different work positions in her country.

But she does feel that being a mother does impact one’s career.

“I think women do not get promoted because there is the possibility that they will ask for maternity leave. Promoting a woman creates issues if she is not going to be in the office, and is on maternal leave,” she explained.

A wife, a mother

When asked about how she feels about being a mother, and being a working mother she says that it is a wonderful experience.

“It is wonderful. It’s like a life has become whole, and complete. You feel that you can be a good mother, invest time, love and care for the family and at the same time do what you want to do in the professional life,” she told.

She is a committed mother who enjoys her time with her child. She added that she really enjoyed the time she spent with her child for one year away from work.

“I restarted working when she was one. I was very lucky to have an organisation which provides me flexibility,” she added.

Iryna believes that her work travel has helped her husband form a close relationship with their daughter.

“When I started travelling, and he started taking care of Anna alone their relationship has become closer, and very much stronger. He used to have certain views about the role of the woman, and the role of the woman in the family. But these experiences have made him very understanding towards work, women, and family life. Now he is very supportive of my professional life,” explained Iryna.

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“It is okay to have no idea how to do something and still want to do it.” – Heather Box

16 Tuesday Jun 2015

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Co-founder of The Million Person Project (MPP) with her boyfriend Julian Mocine-McQueen, Heather works on a global initiative that works with activists, artists, business people, farmers, authors and students to identify their true stories and help them use that energy in their speaking. .Over the past ten years she has worked in social change movements across the world on issues such as civic engagement, climate change, human rights, immigration and sustainable development. She shared her story on what drove her to be who she is today.

 
Redefining Leadership

Heather is passionate about redefining leadership. She finds this to be the motivation behind her work on the Million Person Project.

I believe that our leadership effectiveness is directly linked to how deeply, emotionally connected we are to our personal mission, and how willing we are to share our victories and vulnerabilities,” she said.

For Heather, leadership is far from impressing the world but more about connecting.

“It’s not about impressing; it’s about connecting. It’s not about performing; it’s about engaging. It’s not about being all you can be; it’s about being all of who you are,” she added.

Investing in One’s Dream

Heather did not randomly start her work. She decided to take steps to gain knowledge necessary to succeed at it. While having a coach to guide her through the process of setting up her project, she adds that the experience itself was a great learning process.

“I learned 1,000 times more in the first workshops I conducted, then I did in the six months I spent preparing,” she said.

Challenging the Mind-set

Heather believes that most of the difficulties she faced were around challenging her own belief systems.

“I realized I was telling myself stories my whole life like, I am not good with money. Business is not my thing. People think what I am doing is cool, but they do not take it seriously. Dealing with those beliefs and understanding where they came from has helped me transform them into healthier, more affirming beliefs,” she explained.

Being a Woman

“At first, I didn’t believe that I could do what I loved and make a good living doing it,” said Heather. But today she has proved to herself and others that it is quite possible.
For her clear communication is the key to having work and life balance.

“You need to have sit down conversations with your bosses, clients and families and let them know when you are and are not available. You can’t try to do it all without communicating clearly. On some days, you have to be willing to not be available to people either at work or at home,” she added.

Aspirations?

Heather wants to see her business grow into a business that is thriving financially and that could grow to have a far-reaching impact in the coming years.

“If you want to embark on an entrepreneur journey – get support. It is okay to have no idea how to do something and still want to do it. Coaches and group support programs can be key to building the skills and confidence to accomplish your goals,” she explained.

Note:  Heather Box is also a writer for Huffington Post. She has also published in Source Magazine, Foreign Policy Focus, Ms. Magazine, Stark and Smith Magazine.

“When you are woman in South Asia, everything becomes restrictive or a word of warning. ” – Senashia Ekanayake

11 Monday May 2015

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Senashia Ekanayake is a writer, who likes to describe herself as “mediating with her first quarter life crisis and contemplating life as a writer in the making.” She is motivated by two things: writing and environment and firmly believes that if one truly puts one’s heart into something that one wants to do or achieve, then on can end up either having one’s “dream job” or doing something one really likes.

Being a Woman

Senashia says that being a woman in itself is a difficulty she faced. “I incorporated both “woman” and “writer” in the same listing, as it seems to go hand in hand, at least in my instance.  So, the problem with being a woman, is that you are in fact, not a man. Please feel free to roll your eyes in disgust at my extremely sexist statement,” she added.

She explained that she believes why cultures and societies of women praise the birth of sons is simply because they simply do not want their baby girls to go through the same disastrous events as they did.

“When you are woman, at least in South Asia, I’ve realised that everything becomes restrictive or a word of warning. For example anything that falls between a 09am meeting or a 10pm drinks-date will accompany a plethora of “dress properly”; “who are you coming / going with / what is your mode of transportation”; “are you drinking? If yes, don’t drink too much, what will people think? And not forgetting the calls and text messages in between. These words of warning are not limited to only parental forces. If you are in a relationship, married or otherwise, the force and urge to protect the weaker sex is still very strong.”

She thinks to years of cultural conditioning and pruning the statements and questions above have now become normalcy to her.

 Being a “Writer”

“The problem with being a writer is that it starts off with people either expecting you to write books or write for the newspaper,” said Senashia.

“I did a bit of the latter at some point in life yes, as for the former, not as yet so to speak. From the little I’ve understood in my few years of working is that I prefer to be identified as a writer as opposed to trying to explain to people the whole list of undertakings I’ve usually agreed to,” she added.

Senashia said that things get complicated when she has to explain her job to those who are not very internet-savvy. She lists down her solution: “I just top it off with the line I write for the internet because a “writer” is not seen as a chosen career path for a woman. If this was an Austen era, I may have stood a chance I believe but it’s now customary for women to sit behind a secretary’s desk and plan dinner dates for your boss’s mistress.”

Not Working in an “Office”/ Working from Home

One would not call Senashia as someone with a traditional job. This would be partially due to her work set-up which has no office hours or, an office for that matter.

“So my jobs (yes there are two pay cheques from different organisations) allow me the freedom to work from anywhere. I used to work from home until very recently but now I grace the “city” (suburban girl here!) to drive the mothership and as I don’t like the new setup at home,” she added.

“I quite like this arrangement to be honest. One of the first things I need from any workplace is space. In fact that’s the first thing I need from any relationship, family, romantic, friends, work or any other. I need space to think and be about with just myself, and physical space where I can roll on the floor if that’s what I want to do. And this is exactly what my job offers me. No one cares if I’m working in my underclothes sitting atop the kitchen counter,” she explained.

One of the problems faced by Senashia is that the world seems to think of this as an unnatural occurrence.

“Working from home still hasn’t gained momentum in this part of the world and hence is not accepted as a means of earning by most. My folks seem to or at least try to understand what I do as I still live with them. But most of the time,  I even have similar-aged friends who think of my job as “luxury” (I think it’s the wearing underclothes part of the deal) when in fact I still do put in the same or even more hours of work into my job as they do,” she continued.

Balancing Personal & Professional

Senashia finds the question on how personal and professional converge to be an interesting question given that the notion of working from home usually accompanies the notion of “an abundance of free time”, which is not at all the scenario.

“More often than not, I work while on vacation because “season time” for the rest of the world, doesn’t really cut it for those of us who make their own schedules and work with the outside world. Christmas thankfully becomes a universal holiday,” she said.

She also added, “ I would like to think that I have somewhat of a balance yes and am forever grateful as long as I am single as it doesn’t complicate my mojo and throws me off balance! My personal life so far includes my Friday night alcohol-binges with the best friend and dropping an aunty at home or delivering a parcel to the grandmother’s. The family folk might also at times take this working from home thing too seriously and shamelessly ask me to bring my laptop along with me to every place we go.( Sigh)”

Aspirations?

Senashia aspires to have her own writing set-up with about three other writers and designers (according to her something which is with a few questions left to be answered.)

“I really enjoy the work I do and the best part about the writing comes the story you want to tell to the rest of the world. We all have a story to tell and what gets better than someone willing to pay you to tell their story! It’s also one of those moments you look forward to when a client says that they truly like the work you did for them or your writing spoke to them,” she explained.

For those who want to either write or work from home, her advice: “Go for it! There is so much potential and many untapped markets out there – especially in this part of the world where trends come in when the storm has passed – that can be made use of an exploited to create something truly beautiful.”

“Seeing my father fight injustice inspired me.” – Bhagya Wickramasinghe

09 Saturday May 2015

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bhagya photoBhagya Wickramasinghe is a lecturer in law, an Attorney-at-Law, and works as a researcher for Sri Lankan Youth Climate Action Network, an organisation focusing on climate change, youth empowerment, and social justice. She shared her experience of being a young professional and multi-tasking which has allowed her to do work on the causes she believes in.

Education: key to empowerment

Bhagya sees education as playing a key role in empowering people, especially those of vulnerable groups. She highlighted this to be the motivation to choose a career in education.

“As a strong believer in education as a means of empowerment of people, and access to social justice, I wanted to start my career with teaching which was an idea I have carried since my school days. I believe teaching to be one of the greatest services one could do. Law has always been my passion and motivation since from small age I believed that the way to social justice needs to achieved through a country’s legal system,” she said.

Struggles to inspiration

Bhagya says her inspiration to study law, and pursue a career in law stems from the struggles her father faced while she was growing up.

“As a teenager I experienced the bitterness of politics when my father, a judicial officer was unduly victimised by judicial politics. This experience of seeing my father fight injustice inspired me to continue the fight,” she added.

Born in Kandy, she moved to Colombo for her studies. She finds learning to live in the big city without her parents itself to be one of the challenges she faced.

“I came to Colombo when I was 18, a naïve girl who had just passed out form school with big dreams and no practical sense. I was molly coddled by parents and taken care for by them. I was overwhelmed by the Colombo city, its rush, its fast pace and the fact that I had to fend for myself,” she explained.

Being a woman and a young lawyer

When asked whether being a woman had impacted her professional life, Bhagya responded in the affirmative.

“I have faced the tragedy of gender stereotyping in Sri Lanka in many ways, especially in terms of the way in which a young professional woman is viewed by the various segments in the society,” she said.

“The expectations of the society form a female professional is different. I have been viewed as too weak and gentle to handle being a professional and a lawyer. There have been instances where I have been discouraged from various fields of work and research only because I am a woman,” she added.

She believes that being a working woman does not prevent being happy in one’s personal life. She explained that knowing to respect and allocate due importance to professional as well as personal life ensures a balance between the two.

“There have been instances where I have been told that a female engaged in a hectic professional life would end up compromising the social expectations and fulfilling duties of being a woman,” she added. An opinion with which she chooses to disagree.

Knowledge and humanity

Bhagya aspires to engage in her higher education and further research that will help her contribute to the causes she believes in, and aspires to see social justice for all.

“I believe knowledge is a prerequisite of wisdom, and knowledge surrounds us in our daily lives. Wisdom is often found in the experience of others. We need to be sensitive to grasp that knowledge to be more humane and to be nice to each other,” she added.

“We need more women in politics” – Ellen Sandell

19 Sunday Apr 2015

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My first meeting with Ellen Sandell was in 2010, in Cancun. We were both part of the climate youth movement, and attending the Conference of Parties of the UNFCCC. She has come a long way since then to become the state MP for Melbourne, the first ever Greens MP elected to the Victorian lower house. She agreed to speak on her life, how career evolved, and how being a woman in politics has changed her life.

Climate Activist to Parliamentarian

I asked Ellen where her journey on work on environment and climate change began, and she replied “I started my career as a research scientist at CSIRO before deciding to dedicate myself to achieving policy change on climate change.”

Ellen has worked as the CEO of the Australian Youth Climate Coalition, for which she focused on climate work in Australia and overseas. She has also worked as a climate change policy adviser in Victorian Premier John Brumby’s department, and was Environment Officer at the University of Melbourne. In 2009 she was awarded the joint Banksia Award for Young Environmentalist of the Year. These seem the first paving stones of a career creating policy change.

Choosing Policy Making

Ellen believes growing up close to the nature to have played a role in her choice of work and the motivation for it.

“I grew up in a rural area in Australia. Living so close to our biggest river, and with lots of agriculture and nature around me, showed me what a devastating impact climate change is already having on Australia. When I moved to the city (Melbourne) to study in university I learned more about climate change and decided I wanted to do work that helped solve this problem,” she said.

Ellen explained that her choice to run for Parliament was a choice to bridge the gap of lack of awareness of climate change among policy makers, and having politicians who are climate conscious.

“I worked for a while in the Victorian Government’s climate change policy team but had experiences that showed me our politicians cared more about their political future than our actual future. They changed reports to favour the coal and logging industries and weren’t serious about tackling climate change, so I decided to run a climate change non-profit and ultimately decided we needed people in Parliament that cared about climate change. I put my hand up for election and was fortunate enough to be successful,” she said.

 Thick Skinned?

Being the first elected from a party that is not the Conservative or the Labour has not made things easy for Ellen. She expressed the time consuming nature of her work which does not differentiate between weekends from working days and learning to be thick-skinned so as to avoid being affected by how others treat her.

“It’s a very demanding job, with lots of work during the weekend and evenings. There’s also a lot of scrutiny on you – the way you dress, the way you do your hair, what you sounds like. It’s made harder by the fact I was the first Green elected so the old parties are quite harsh on us because we’re challenging the status quo,” she expressed.

She also added, “There is a lot of bullying in Parliament which is hard, so you have to have a thick skin!”.

A Male Dominated World of Politics

Speaking on how she feels about women in politics, and being a female parliamentarian Ellen said, “It’s difficult being a woman in Parliament. We don’t get maternity leave or anything like that and there is also a lot of attention on the way you look, speak and dress, which men don’t face as much.”

She also stressed the need for the support of her family and friends in order to achieve success.  She believes that one needs a lot of family and friend support to be successful. She also commented that the world of politics is mainly male dominated.

“It’s also quite an aggressive male-dominated area, you get yelled at a lot in Parliament!”

Balancing Personal & Professional

For Ellen, balancing one’s personal and professional lives is highly important in order to be successful.

“We must balance our personal and professional lives or we would all go insane with stress and pressure!” she stated.

She also feels that there is the need for better government policies, especially in her country Australia and other Global North countries, to encourage men to take paternity leave, to have better flexibility, childcare and maternity leave for women in order to better balance our work and family lives. She wants also to encourage women to go into politics but to do it with their eyes open. “

“It’s not something that you can easily balance with a normal life, It isn’t a 9am to 5pm job. But we need more women in politics, and when we do I hope we’ll be able to change things for the better,” she highlighted.

“Passion is what drives you to work for a cause, being a happy person increases your commitment.” – Sarah Soysa

11 Saturday Apr 2015

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Photo provides by Sarah Soysa

Photo provides by Sarah Soysa

Sarah Soysa is passionate about her work, a feminist working in the field of sexual and reproductive health and gender issues, she is currently reading for her masters in gender and development studies at the University of Melbourne. She is the initiator of the first hotline in Sri Lanka which provides information on safe medical abortion as a way to provide accurate information to women and girls on safe medical abortion and contraceptives. She spoke of what inspired her to choose her career, and volunteering for causes she believes in.

Experienced Turned Aspiration

Sarah says that the experiences of gender inequality and injustice that she experienced throughout her childhood and youth motivated her to choose the human rights sector to work. “As a young person had limited access to accurate information and health services, specially sexual and reproductive health services and my knowledge on my bodily rights and the law of the country was very low. I am now working passionately to

make things different for the current and future young people so that they would be able to make informed decisions in their life defending and enjoying their rights,” she added.

Education & Passion

She further spoke no how education and passion could be linked, not disconnected.  “In order to work in any field, especially in a country like Sri Lanka educational qualifications play a role. So the link between education and what one believes in plays a role and experience in what you choose as your cause matters,” said Sarah.

Among the organisations for which she has volunteered are national and regional organizations such as IPPF, Family Planning Association of Sri Lanka, South Asia Regional Youth Network, Commonwealth Gender Equality Network, YPEER Sri Lanka, Young Women’s Christian Association Sri Lanka and Australia,  as well as Asia Safe Abortion Partnership.  She is also a current advisor for FRIDA Feminist Fund.

“I started volunteering for the youth technical advisory committee of the Family Planning Association of Sri Lanka and YPEER Sri Lanka as a peer educator and a youth advocate passionate on SRHR and gender equality. I read and keep myself updated on current issues related to my area of work and always take necessary action where interventions are needed. I am surrounded by amazing young feminists and human rights defenders who makes me and keeps me motivated to do what I do,” she added.

A Woman Talking on Sex

“As a young woman I have faced many difficulties working in the field of sexual and reproductive health and rights because of the taboo associated with it. I was judged, criticised and also challenged when people learnt that I advocate for safe abortion rights with a restrictive legal environment in the country,” explained Sarah.

She also added that the continuous threats and challenges on social media when discussing women’s rights, safe abortion rights, issues related to sexual orientation and gender identity is a challenge for the ensuring that the sexual and reproductive rights are protected.

“It is disheartening to see how lightly young women are taken in decision making fora, merely as a token of representation for the gender balance. To date young women are completely or partially neglected inn the discussions on policy changes, and designing of programmes that affect them. Decisions on women are taken without their active participation in the decision making process. This leads to neglecting the real issues, concerns and challenges affecting young women as well as to aggravating the situation that persist on rights violations aushc as increasing of violence against them, unwanted pregnancies, unsafe abortions, psychological stress, increasing HIV and STI infections,” she pointed out.

Balancing Professional and Personal

Sarah believes that personal life is not a barrier for a woman’s professional life but mentions that your family and friends understanding what you do is important.

“Personal and professional life can be very well balanced for it to be the case, it is extremely important that your family members and friends know what you are working on. If you decide to work on a sensitive topic or an area such as sexual and reproductive health it is very important to start the sensitisation from your home and then move to your close friends and then to the community,” she added.

She also pointed out that it is important to acknowledge the support of one’s family and to find time for them while pursuing what one believes in.

“Making time for your loved ones and for you to take a break is very important. It increases one’s creativity. On a personal level it has helped me put things in perspective as well as be a better person.  Passion is what drives you to work for a cause, being a happy person increases your commitment to it.”

Sarah wishes her work to improve the availability of safe, legal and quality abortion services for women in Sri Lanka especially for young women and other disadvantaged groups creating a space for them to enjoy their rights freely without discrimination or violence.

“I want my grand-children to be government employees” – S. Arumoham

29 Sunday Mar 2015

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Arumoham is 62 years old. A grand mother, she is separated from her husband and lives with her daughter who is a widow, and a mother of three children. Arumoham is the bread-winner in this family of four. I met her during my visit to Wakarei. She is a working woman, a farmer and a fisher-woman who works to ensure that her daughter and her grand-children are fed two meals per day.

Working to take care of grand-children

She farms vegetables such as chili, and pumpkin in her garden. She says she has not received a formal training as to how agriculture needs to be done, but does is based on the knowledge she has received over generations. She believes that new technology and teaching is not as good as the knowledge she has received. She has no time to go for trainings or capacity building session she says, nor women’s meetings. She has to take care of her grand-children among whom is a child with special needs. She works so that the boy could be taken care of, along with his two sisters who are in their teens.

Unpredictable weather and farming

Her agricultural activities are not the easy. There is scarcity of water in the region, and the water they have is from wells that they pump to use for their farming. She says that weather patterns have changed, and the rains that fall much harsher than before damage the crops. I ask her how she puts up with the damage when the plants are destroyed from heavy rains. She says that they have to start from scratch. She does not believe in loans, nor insurance. She prefers to starve than be troubled by her creditors she says.

“I will not take loans from anyone. I would rather die of hunger than have someone come and harass me over money I owe. They do not bother to check on us when we are dying,  but come and ask us to return the money three times a day.”

Fishing with her bare hands

Her farm brings around 3000 to 4000 rupees a month she says. She is not entirely sure of the income made. They make use of the crops for their food, while selling some of it to gain an income. As the income does not suffice, she goes to catch prawns in the evening. She shows me how she catches them with her bare hands, and earn an additional 300 rupees for her grand-children. It is a daily routine, and she stays in the waters from 6- 9pm every evening.

Hopes for the future

Like many others living in the region, she wants to see a better life for her grandchildren. She wants them to be able to gain jobs in the public sector. “I want them to have a government job when they grow up,” she says.

Arumoham has faced a lot in her life. Having left her home in 2005, abandoning most of what she had built in life, she has returned to the same area and now is trying to build a life again, for her children and her grandchildren who depend on her.

Post War Wakarei : A Story of Three Generations

28 Saturday Mar 2015

Posted by in #WomenAtWork, Climate Change, Environment, Features

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I met Kusalini when I was in Wakarei on a field visit. She peeped at me while sitting on her mother’s lap and I was busy noting down the answers her grandmother was providing me on the challenges she faces to continue her agricultural work.

At first Kusalini was hesitant to come to me, a woman who was strangely dressed and did not speak to her in her mother tongue. No amount of smiling or coaxing would make her leave her mother’s arms and come to mine. She is two and a half years old, lives with her mother and her grandmother, as well as another cousin for whom her grandmother cares for as both her parents have remarried and have decided to take care of their new families. Kusalini’s father does not live with her mother. Lojini, her mother’s divorce is pending and she has no source of income other than the one from her mother’s agricultural work.

kusalini

Mum’s story

Lojini 25yrs is waiting to be separated from her husband who had chosen to spend more time at his parents’ home than with her. He provides no financial assistance to her or the child from the information she provided. I hear a story much familiar to mine, though our circumstances are different. She is not yet divorced, apparently the legal process keeps getting dragged. I ask the interpreter for the reason behind it, but he comes up with information that I cannot relate to in any legal sense. I decided that I need a better interpreter, preferably a woman who would be able to provide me information without judgement.

Kusalini, her daughter is just one month younger to my son Akashiv. She seems an active and curious kid, just like my son who is a few days elder to her (maybe a little more subdued than Akashiv who is of late all over the house and would talk easily to people). When I ask how old her daughter is Lohini indicates with her figners “two” and then “five”. Lojini schooled only upto grade 9, and has never worked. She says she has to take care of her daughter, and that she helps with her mother’s vegetable garden and looking after the few hens they have. She smiles a lot, so does her mother. Kusalini is more reserved, and prefers to stare at me instead.

Gradma’s story

Indrani

Indrani is 51 years old. She tells me that she has 5 children, and one living with her who is Kusalini’s mother. She also has two grand-daughters she takes care of with her meagre income from her home garden. She plants different types of crops among which are chili, pumpkin. I see around the plants around me while I type. The changing climate has been harsh to her, the crops are being damaged due to heavy rains, and then the lack of it created by impacts of climate change.

A widow, Indrani is the head of a household comprising only of women, for whom she is the sole bread-winner. They have two meals a day, either breakfast or lunch, and then diner. The hens they keep provide eggs that they use to earn an extra income as well as provide food for the children. I am unable to ask her many questions due to my lack of Tamil knowledge, and the interpreter being a man who decides what needs to be asked from Indrani and what he needs to censor. Unfortunately my dependence on his judgement on my access to information prevented me from gaining more information from them.

Indrani has previously had a small shop which had failed because people to whom she offered rations on credit failed to pay back. Now she earns her living through her vegetables.  I ask her whether there are any attacks by animals on her crop. She points to Kusalini and laughs. She says Kusalini find it a hobby to pull out plants. Her solution: A fence tall enough to block Kusalini access to the plot of land, and short enough for her to enter the land.

fence

Hopes for the Little Ones

indrani and family

As I pack to leave, and her grandmother gets ready to pick go her, the other grand-daughter who is 7 arrives. She has walked all the way home, and I am impressed given that my parents would have had a heart attack had I done that at 7 (They had decided to send me to school in a van even when it was 3 junctions from home.) She joins her family in observing the newcomers, and trying to grasp what was happening around her.

I ask the two elders what they want for their children. Indrani and Lojini both want the kids to be government employees when they grow up. They think that is the most stable profession. Lojini wants Kulini to become a teacher, she says it is a “good and dignified job”.

Not having much to offer to the child, and knowing that offering money as a parting gift would probably have a negative impact on what I was trying to build here, I offer Kusalini and her cousin the food I carried with me. She likes the red coloured wrapper and decides she finally likes me.

A Woman’s Role

I tell the interpreter that I have a son who is the same age as Kusalini, and he asks, “Where is your son now?”

I answer that he is with my parents as I am in Wakarei for work.

He tells me, “You are no different!”

I look at him understanding that he and I come from different opinions. I believe in a woman’s education and being able and empowered to make decisions, to work and earn a living to ensure that her children have their meals and are educated without depending on anyone else.  For him it seems the woman’s role is to be with the children at all times, even if they are to starve. However trying to make sense with him at that point did not seem the best decision. So I leave thanking the education received which had enabled me to make decisions on my own, and strive for better, which was less available to Lojini.

I leave hoping that Kusalini would not be hindered to reach higher and follow her dreams, that one day would have options in life just like my Akashiv does, not withstanding her gender, nor ethnicity. And I hope she gets access to education which would enable her to become what her mother dreams she would be, or anything else she aspires to be.