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Vositha's Blog

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Claustrophobic Within

11 Wednesday May 2022

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

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I have not written in a while. Rather have not written here in a while. Life has become about meetings, editing documents, and occasional columns. Putting words together has not been a regular venture of late, and I can’t say I missed it a lot. Maybe I did, without realising it. Maybe the heightened sense of being anxious, sort of claustrophobic within my own being had something to do with not typing things out, not yelling at those I wanted to every time they repeated the same thing over and over again. Well, I can safely say that what surrounds on a daily basis has not helped me to lose the sense of anxiety, the uncertainty of what would come next however much we strive to do our best, and trying to control situations which are not necessarily within our ability to control. Then again, what is ever within our power of control? This could easily get me on an existential crisis, where I end up deep diving with all the fear I possess of deep-dives: be is emotional ones or real dives into a pool.

What can I say? I just wish most of us could see the bigger picture in life. I wish certain people make smart decisions, which are not ad hoc or driven by self interest, but for the collective good. Well, I wish for world peace too, but I presume that is a given.

And as I said before, I don’t write a lot. Not of self-expression, at least.

Until I find my way back here, bye!

Photo by Gabriel on Unsplash)

Niger

28 Sunday Jun 2020

Posted by vositha in Uncategorized

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I had the opportunity to be in Niger, a few months back, before COVID-19 limited our travels.

It is a beautiful land with amazing humans. I left the land with few memories, and also a decision to expand work in the country, on climate change, sustainable development, law and policy.

While I struggle to finish the research paper that I am working on, which focuses on identifying the entry points for developing a National Adaptation Plan for Niger, I wanted to write a these few thoughts to remind myself of the beauty that the country holds.

Background

Niger is a country in the Africa, which consists of 17.7 millions inhabitants. 80% of the population live in the rural areas while 20% in the urban. As per national data, the country has a population growth rate: 3,9% and a GDP of US$6,303.5 million (as of 2015,).

Niger is a Sahelian country, and 75% of the country’s area is situated in the desert zone. It is also one of the world’s poorest countries, and remains ranked low in the Human Development Index.(Niger was ranked 189th out of 189 countries on the Human Development Index in 2017.)

Agriculture accounts for 43.4% of the country’s gross domestic product (2018) and is the most important sector of Niger’s economy. It remains the main source of livelihood for rural communities, with 85% of employment depending on it. Due to this reason, country is highly vulnerable to climate impacts, and has suffered losses worth millions of dollars due to droughts and floods.

Now to a few unforgettable aspects of Niger:

It’s People

Meet two of my favourites from Niger, Issa and Sani (and me of course, struggling to take a photo of all of us in the frame,) two individuals working on climate change and sustainable development.

It would not be wrong to say that Issa was my window to Niger, providing me an introduction to his country, over a decade ago. I have always been interested in the work he and his colleagues do with the aim of achieving climate resilience, engaging youth in decision making processes, and also working towards achieving sustainable development participatory and inclusive processes.

Issa and Sani work with many stakeholders, including the policy makers, civil society organisations, communities, youth and children, to make change possible.

(When we tried to take a post-workshop selfie, and it turned out like this)

It’s Beauty

The country holds amazing beauty. In the 24 hours I spent there, which consisted mostly at a workshop, then a ministry getting my passport which was handed over at the airport to the authorities, as well as travelling from hotel to meeting venues, I was still able to see a few amazing locations. What blew me away the most was the beauty of the sand dunes, situated about one hour away from Niamey, and the warmth of the local communities I met.

(A walk that I thought was a 5 minute one, which became a few hours)
(My new buddy, who decided to join me. He and his younger brother believed I was from their ethnicity/community. We did not speak the same language, but I would like to think we were able to communicate with each other, at some level. )
(And we made it to the top)

Evidently, I could not separate the beauty from its people. The children who engaged with me, and welcomed me as one of their own. The sand dunes that are mesmerising, and made me out of breath (not only due to all the walking) especially at sunset.

Building Climate Resilience & Achieving Sustainable Development

One more reason that I feel connected to the country, is the work that I do focusing on, and in Niger.

As a Least Developed Country (LDC) that is highly vulnerable to climate change, Niger is also among the countries that are in the process of developing their National Adaptation Plan. Focusing on building resilience of the country’s peoples and ecosystems to climate threats, inclusive and participatory sustainable development remains vital for Niger. And, it has been eye-opening to meet those who work on these processes, as well as to contribute through technical expertise to their work, and to share experiences and lessons learnt in our work, with them.

As I sign off, I am sharing this photo of me in Niamey, (since my attempt to upload a video on the same rooftop turned out to be futile).

(On a rooftop in Niamey, trying not to get blown off by the wind, as I wait for the workshop to start)

Note:

I do not get to write much, most of the time. Or, I just end up typing reports that I do not publish often on the blog regularly. But, I try.

Protected: Happiness

22 Friday Sep 2017

Posted by vositha in Relationships, Uncategorized

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love, marriage, relationships

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Slow Sundays

18 Sunday Jun 2017

Posted by vositha in poetry or something of the sort., Uncategorized

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frienships, losing friends, moments, moving on, writer's block

It’s been a slow year for writing on anything personal. Things were way over my head with work, and personal life has been less traumatising to be writing on. I think those souls suffering have a knack to put things together in a manner that really reaches out to one’s soul. For me, I had lesser sufferings of the traumatised soul to pen personal rants on. Probably for good reason.

I have come to realise that it that time of year, where I have lost patience with those that make life difficult for me. This involves telling people the truth about what they are doing, and how their self centered behaviour cannot be a justification for wasting my time, lying to me, or simply complicating my life. It is not a lie if I say that this has reasonably made me re-evaluate my “friends” list. And I am starting to believe in all those articles about how growing up is about having fewer friends who are closer to you, and who respect you and your time.

Life moves one, with different people in our lives, with new faces, new circumstances and reasons for happiness. It’s all a matter of choice in life, we pick what makes us happy, what makes lives change for the good, what contributes best to the happiness of most. We grow up to appreciate the tough decisions, and then what one values. You open your eyes, and then move on. No point in getting stuck, and happiness is at one’s reach. It is a matter of making the correct choices, and being able to live with them.

And here’s to hoping that I would be able to discover writing again, hopefully soon.

“Early intervention key to coping with autism” – Ishanthi Perera

05 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by vositha in Autism Awareness, Uncategorized

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autism, Autism Awareness, dealing with autism, inclusive education, parents of autistic children, special needs education

Autism is not a term that is heard in Sri Lankan households but one that is soon becoming one that is affecting many households. With many children being diagnosed with symptoms within the autism spectrum disorder, awareness on how to address autism is a question that is raised by many, especially by parents who have children with autism. Ishanthi Perera is a consultant behaviour therapist and heads the skill building unit at ABC School of Early Learning.  She spoke to SLYCAN Trust on her experiences working with autism and why autism awareness is important.

Autism & Daily Struggles

Ishanthi works on a daily basis with children with autism in her role as an educator. According to her experience in working with them, she says that struggles of children with autism can probably be only understood from their own perspectives. She explained that individuals who have written or spoken of their experiences, recount autism as a magnet that pulls them inwards, they speak of not being in control of their bodies, they speak of how insignificant sounds, colours or noises can trigger huge overwhelming feelings of anxiety in them.

“In my daily work, I see that my students struggle with behaviours such as sitting, attending to their work, stopping their stereotypy such as hand flapping or finger flicking, stopping their scripting long enough to respond to a question, meeting our expectations in class, they struggle with understanding and desensitizing to their environment which is full of sounds,” said Ms. Perera.

“Some of the children with autism struggle with sensory needs such as needing more, or less stimulation from their environment. Their struggles are tied in with their families while they are trying hard to understand this new experience of being parents of a child with autism,  and doing their best to make things better for the child”, she added.

Dealing with Autism: Together

The struggles of autism are not limited to those who live with autism, but also to their caretakers. Parents are often in need of support to deal with situations of discovering their children do to be autistic, and on how to address it. Ishanthi works with many parents in her role as an educator and she commented on how it is important to understand the difficulties the parents face as well in coping with their child’s daily struggles.

“Many of the parents I have spoken to are at some stage of, what is referred to in psychological terms as, the cycle of grief. She explained that this starts with denial, then anger, followed by bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. The struggles they face are influenced by where they are in this cycle,” she explained and highlighted the need to work together with the parents in addressing the needs of children with autism.

Improving Support Systems

Speaking of supports systems available across the world, Ishanthi distinguished how the capacity of different countries to finance social systems play a role in how children would be able to learn to deal with autism.

“In developed countries like those of North America national circumstances are different, and provides more mature disability-related government systems. Components such as financial aids and community centers and schools with programs for children with special needs are available which provide more inclusive educational facilities, and developed health support for individuals with special needs. There are also school appointed speech therapists and education consultants who are available to support children in overcoming their difficulties,” she said.

She expressed that in Sri Lanka, there aren’t any government funded services and activities as of yet which are similar to those mentioned above. But she also highlighted the medical facilities available, and highlighted that government hospitals such as Lady Ridgeway Hospital in Colombo and the Ragama Hospital have well trained and knowledgeable doctors who carry out assessments and give advice to parents.

Autism & Education

One of the key challenges that children with autism face is integrating into the education system. With their specific preferences and needs, in an environment where autism awareness is not prevalent, these children would face many difficulties and are likely to be discriminated.  It brings to question on how inclusive education needs to be organised, and how children with autism need to be integrated into education systems of countries.

“The usefulness of the current syllabus is questionable when it comes to children with autism. It needs to be providing life skills and vocational skills which would provide children with autism to be able to be independent in society. However this is not the case in the present syllabus used for education in Sri Lanka,” Ishanthi commented.

She further  emphasized the need for positive inclusion, with support being given to families by the community they belong to and stressed on the fact that it starts with awareness and acceptance.

Finding Success

Dealing with autism  and finding success is a collective effort. As Ishanthi explains success lies in  proper liaison between public and private enterprises, and appropriate autism or special needs organisations. She also highlighted the need for vocational skills and dignified employment opportunities for individuals with autism.

“ A proper top-down approach should be taken, with the qualified individuals involved, to understand the scope of job opportunities that can be made available, and then the kind of training that needs to be given and how to incorporate this into a formal education system.

Applied Behavioural Analysis  and early intervention cannot be stressed enough. If we start young and work together we can really do something special,” she added.

 

 

11

About Ishanthi Perera

Ishanthi Perera has an undergraduate degree in psychology, specializing in exceptionalities in human learning and a Master’s degree in Applied Disability Studies, specializing in Applied Behaviour Analysis from Canada. She has worked as a Consultant Behaviour Analyst in Canada and is currently at ABC school, in charge of the skill building process of students with various diagnoses and facilitates their inclusion into a neuro-typical classroom.

Thank you 2016!

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

Posted by vositha in Random Moments of Life, Uncategorized

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Tags

2016 ends, friendships, lessons learnt, life, superficial humans, welcoming 2017, work, Year2016

So it is a new year, and 2017 has come faster than expected. 2016 was interesting enough, I have not written much as I would have liked to, no time, boredom, insomnia, overwork, the list is long. But the year has taught me a few things.

  1. One needs to be able to make the best of what is offered: Life can be tough, I think we do know, or rather should try to make the best we can of it. Life is short, too short to be pondering what ifs.
  2. Love can happen, when you least expect: 2016 has been a surprise year for me, on the relationship front. Having been with men who have taught me what type of a partner I should not be with, I found someone who proved the other way round. Thank you for coincidences, and taking chances. 2016 taught me that love happens, and that the choices we make in life several times, the ones that fail most times, those ones should certainly be avoided. Lesson learnt.
  3. Friendships change, some last only till the other can afford his coffee: This year has been one where I have realised that some people I have considered close, well those have not been exactly close. It has also taught me that it is fine to let go of these people, and that sometimes one person who understands you and is there for you is to be more appreciated than those who make you miserable, or your life more difficult.
  4. There is something called autism, and Sri Lanka might not be best understanding how to deal with it: I shall deal with this topic more often in 2017, since I think awareness creation on this topic is much needed, and more experts on dealing with autism even more needed.
  5. Taking a step back is fine, you need it: I have been working like a lunatic, for the last few years, and those who do not really fund the expenses of my kid or mine, have had lectures for me, on how I need to be taking a break. Oh well, you still do not spend for me, and I am fine with spending for my kid. But I have taken a break from those stressful things that ruled my life since 2013, and plan to eliminate the rest that are reminiscences of that era by end of 2017. Yes, I shall!
  6. Take a step forward, take that risk again: Yes I am a single parent, but I can still take risks, and make new initiatives. It took me a long while to make some decisions, but once they were made, they have reminded me the person I used to be, the one who was not scared to take risks till I was a mother, and a single parent having to fend for the kid, and then too scared that the kid might starve if I took that risk. But 2016 has taught me that I will be not starving my kid by not killing me with the daily stress, and that at the same time I am able to make decisions that matter.
  7. Work could be fun with the right team: Thank you guys for making my life a less stressful one. Hope 2017 treats us as kind as 2016, or even better!
  8. Fight for a cause, even if you are the only one: Believing in something is a way to keep sanity in tact, and it certainly was one that helped me to keep as sane as I possibly could. And it does not matter that everyone is not on the same path as I am on, or that they are believer, I choose to believe that I can still make a difference.
  9. It is the billionaires that borrow stuff, and never return them. Give stuff to those who need it, and can’t afford it, and not to those who are stingy to spend on thing that matter.
  10. Submit that collection of poetry even if you have only two hours to meet the deadline, and you know your poetry sucks: It is only a matter of deciding, and doing what you think you should. One ticked off the bucket list.

A big thank you for those who have been there for me in 2016, in all the ups and downs, and also the deep bottomless pits. You guys have proved me that even if life is not perfect, that it sure could be worth every second of it.

“I can’t trust you”

03 Tuesday Jan 2017

Posted by vositha in poetry or something of the sort., Uncategorized

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Tags

boyfriends, Breakups, cheating, modern relatioships, monogamy, relationships, trust

 

blog

(C) Nils Werner

 

“I can’t trust you anymore,” he says,

“You are so different,

I have no clue what has got into you.

It’s best

we don’t speak again.

Why did you have to speak to her?

And you didn’t tell me!

That too

for ten days!”

He screams.

“What happened to you?

How can I ever trust you,

again?”

 

“Sure” she says.

 

It wasn’t she who had spent the night with another.

 

The Brown One

14 Wednesday Dec 2016

Posted by vositha in poetry or something of the sort., Uncategorized

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Tags

calmness, Hanoi, poetry, random writing, solitude, South East Asia travel, travel, walks

hanoi

 

I walk the streets

of pavements

and people,

with boiling pots of oil

bananas and mango fries,

flowers, shoes

and spectacles

dresses, laughs

dust and pebbles.

 

I walk

eyes on me

the strange being

walking the streets

alone

mornings

late evenings

and nights at times,

the only brown one

on these roads,

a phone at hand

tracking places

and smiling faces,

in search of food

and solitude.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Women at Work: Tone Policing

14 Wednesday Dec 2016

Posted by vositha in #WomenAtWork, gender, Uncategorized

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#WomenatWork #GenderSensitiveBehaviour #Gender #WorkLife

Are you a female? Have you had one of those colleagues who likes to get personal when you want to discuss something in factual sense? Have you been told “let’s not get emotional?” when you were trying to make a point (in all ignorance to what emotions he was referring). Well, I have.

If you have faced similar situations, then you have been exposed to what is called “tone-policing”. (A term that I have learnt of late, thanks to wonderful instances of work life.)

So the standard definition of tone policing goes as, “Tone policing is a silencing tactic. That means it is part of a set of tools used by people holding privilege to prevent marginalized individuals or groups from sharing their experiences of oppression.”

(In this case, I am focusing on how women are silenced by adding words such as “emotional,” “irrational,” or even  “hysterical,” when they are trying to make their case, or simply trying to get an explanation as to why a situation is as it is.)

And the Urban Dictionary adds a bit more by defines the term by defining those who consider themselves to be worthy of tone policing.

“Tone police are people who focus on (and critique) how something is said, ignoring whether or not it is true.They will discard a true statement simply because they don’t like how it was presented.”

The bad thing is when you are a woman at work, and write a simple mail and then get words such as “emotional,” being used in a reply, the feminists roots in your system start to signal that something is not right. It also indicates that you have let one two many of these comments pass with people who likes to think they have a vested interest in patronising you, or just like think that they have unwritten but for some reason assumed right to be sending such messages.

Words such as emotional, hysterical, have the effect of suddenly making a woman look incompetent, even when she is making a point which is valid. Then the assumption is that she acting up on her hormones, and then they will take the liberty to crack a joke of her being on post menstrual stress, diminishing the value of any valid point a woman is trying to raise.

This is even worse when it happens in civil society organisations where people are calling for gender sensitive policies, and gender equality. It is one thing to speak of upholding women rights, and being gender sensitive,  when funding proposals are being submitted. But in practice the fact that the issues are ignored in the worse way possible, and that most staff have no clue as to what constitute gender sensitive behaviour  points to the fact that there needs to be education of these actors who call for gender sensitivity while being those who are of the same group of those ignoring issues of gender, and behaving in a manner that violates values they call to be upheld.

When I mentioned I plan to do a research on tone policing, and share stories of women who might have faced this situation at work, a journalist asked me whether I will be dealing with the police. I found this an interesting question. I left that to be answered by the experiences I might be able to find, through volunteers who would share their stories, or through a survey I plan to do in the coming months.

So in short, I hope to share stories of how you were tone policed at work (if you think you have been,) provided that you would like to share your story with me. It’s because I believe this will help people realise that we take lot of things for granted, as well as put up with lot of things at work, simply because we have patience. But, that does not make that people are doing the right thing. And nor does it mean that you need to endure it in silence.

Drop me a line, and I would be happy to see how your story could be shared in this collection of stories which I am hoping I will be able to put together, and share as blog posts and a research paper.

Thank you in advance!

Finding Solace (one thinks)

22 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by vositha in Random Moments of Life, Uncategorized

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Tags

life, living life, random posts, self-expression, writing

20161105_101915

I have not written in a while, not sure whether it was a conscious decision, but well, did not get around to typing anything on the blog section. The random, meaningless, rants that is, the longer, structured, supposedly technical writing I believe I have done a few in the last months.  Life got busy, with work plans, fund raising plans, funds saving plans, taking Dylan to doctor plans, making sure Dylan is not dragged to doctor plans etc. The list seems to rhyme and go on forever, just like life, and then I turn philosophical, and question the meaning of life, why we live, why we spend, why we earn, why we stress.

I think people write when they need an outlet, and of late, I do not think I look for one (that is my way of saying, I am too lazy to write, so I have not, I think I will sleep instead, I need my sleep). Then again, I also have this weird habit of writing in my head (not literally of course, anyone gets that point, but in case someone missed it reiterating it,) like finishing up whole essays, blog posts, from start to the last line, with all sorts of elaborated nonsense, and all that as mentioned before in my head. Sad, yes. But the reality nevertheless. So since they are all final, completed, and edited (all in my head of course,) I do not bother typing them out as well. Maybe someone should print my head, and then make a publication out of it, and of course distribute it for free (not sure whether anyone would want to read anything I type after paying for it.)

I feel the “non-writing for a while” having an impact when I type now as I type this  not so meaningful post, where I have to pause, delete words, rethink, and then delete a whole sentence, and then type another whole paragraph. But the it is also in a sense like my life of late. I think. I pause. I wonder whether this is what I want.  And it is not such a terrible thing you know. I am loving the change for a change, from the days where frustration of not having a choice, and doing things informed at last moment reigned in my darker hours (where I felt like pulling my hair out).

Now, I have time to pause, to plan, and to maybe live, loved. (yea, yea, a little bit of mushiness never killed anyone!)

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