For the first time in a long time I am awake while my nocturnal sister is fast asleep. It’s actually hilarious that I am trying to achieve the impossible of studying one whole G.L Peiris book on Law of Evidence in Sri Lanka in 12 hours!! Yeah I must be crazy! (well that is an established fact over the last few years)

In any case, while spending the night praying that I manage to get through this ordeal without losing the little sanity that is left in me only one thing comes to my mind, and that is the line that David keeps saying to me every time I complain about my exams. He fails to understand why I would do something that I am not inclined to do! Neither do I!!

But the question is do we really get to do in life only those things that we really feel like doing? It would be wonderful if that be the story of our life, but I doubt if there is anyone who can claim that everything he or she did in life was something they held dear to their heart.

I don’t hate exams, nor do I hate law, but I do hate Law College exams! I never tried to like it, nor do I see the point of trying to like it! But I am nevertheless stuck doing it! I know David will not understand my theory of life, his being, never do anything that does not add value to your life!

Well let me pray that this ordeal will add “some” value to my life!! May be a lesson on how to survive the worst in life without bringing out the worse in me! 🙂

Finally having completed my load of work I am thinking of turning to law of evidence!! How many more papers to go?? I don’t even want to start counting. My international law books are sleeping with cob webs being woven around them! And I die a slow death with the Sri Lankan legal system 😦

Rish made my day by asking me to interpret the UNFCCC terminology! The difference between “voluntary” and “proposed voluntarily” were the terms that he decided that clarity be needed upon. I after coming up with my own interpretations, decided to bug Thishya (which has become a habit of late) in my subjective interpretations and someone’s objective interpretation got him into a worse mood than he was in!

Now why in the world do I end up pissing people of late? It seems to be turning into a habit and I sure don’t want to be continuing  it 😦

Well after having decided that once these stupid exams are over I shall dust my international law books, I turn to planning what to do for the end of month 🙂 “Evasion” as one would call it in French! I am in dream land about the things I want to do!! Beach or beach, how I long for thee! Unawatuna!! Unawatuna and more Unawatuna!

Yeah it’s decided!! ( yeah I am back to making my own decisions, after some one highlighted to me how stupid he thinks my new resolution is! And for some reason I feel such a dumb blond and so freaking self conscious around him!! Why in the world would I be feeling so? My brain fails to provide me with a reasonable answer thus I shall no more ponder on it to come up with nonsensical answers! mmm may be it’s ” How dumb can you be!” look that  he keeps giving me! mmm…)

OK coming back to where I stopped!! I have decided to run off to the beach on the 27th of June with all my Civil Procedure II notes 🙂 As I explain to Rish when he wanted to know when my exams were ending, such exile would help me to be saner than I was at the moment 🙂 (In a relative manner not in the objective manner :)) And of course it would be lesser noise and more things to make me happy than drag me down!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! Let it be 27th of June, so that I can pack my bags (with law notes in them as well) and head to the beautiful beach!! Oh please don’t rain now to mess it up for me!! By the way this is a prayer for the last week of June, may it rain as much as possible till then 😉 I have no problem with that!!

Yeah I am happy after all! (or is it hyper??)

PS. Gayani thinks I am bubbly! Now ain’t that sweet?? (or is it a nicer way of saying that you are hyper?? mmm )

Here comes my latest resolution!!

I shall make NO MORE DECISIONS!

Yeah no more decisions for me!! For a good part of my life I realized that most of the decisions I have being making makes more sense at all! I mean I am openly accepting that my decision making power on my personal life has lead me no where other than to the pits. Yes so I am thinking of improving my life by handing over that task to my close friends who seem to make more sense when they here of my constant blunders than I seem to have done 🙂

But of course each one has their specialty and their own perception of life, so my decisions will have a spice to it. (Hopefully) Now Gayani will have the wise woman powers who would tell me “Stay away!!”” which of course she has been telling me of late but to which I have paid a deaf ear resulting in many a calamity, so the next time I shall take your word to be of ultimate value and never to be ignored.

Indu and Pemith, yeah you will add the spice to my life! You guys tell me to chill and tell people to FFF off which I never do, so that is definitely going to be one of my main statements for the year! So when I don’t do it, I shall let you guys remind me that some people do need to be told to ” F off!”

Sonali, well you know me too well for my liking and seems to be keeping track of all the stupidity that I have been committing on late, and then remind me later on that you did try to stop me from doing certain things for which I refused to accept your better judgement. So here goes ” Your highness, since this moment on you  shall be the wise one deciding for me!! I have retired from Vositha’s personal life management so now it’s your time to take over!!

Last but not the least, my beloved sister!! My mum always made it a point to remind me that if ever I am to find myself a man, to get my sister’s opinion, because I make the stupidest decision ever!! So here I am taking my mum’s advice!! Whether you like it or not, you better pick the men for me!! I am tired of all the morons I seem to be meeting these days 🙂 Btw I mean YOU not your MAN!! His advice did get me into a load of shit!!! ( OK Pramu I still do love ya :p!! I mean you tried your best, and may be the line I told was the latest ever! But then I don’t care because I am pretty much decided that my sister will be the judge about it hence forth! So you may influence her decision making , if you think she is being too logical!! )

Yeah my personal life is sorted!! Now let me try to get the professional life sorted…

Rishikesh Ram Bhandary!! Where the hell are you??!!! You are DESPERATELY NEEDED to sort out the mess in my professional life while the other wise men and women sort my personal life!!

PS. Add to the list, my specialized advisor on men and professional matters : Anush W 🙂 I am mighty glad that you have agreed to take up this humanitarian cause and relieve me of my suffering 🙂

Love you All!!

Have you ever wished life was written in a pencil and you had an eraser to use once in a while ? Well I have!! But unfortunately it seems to be not quite an option with most of the things that I land with!!

But the million dollar question is how I managed to get into this shitty situations. I mean I have tried over and over to analyse the situations just to figure out how I end up making the stupid old mistakes over and over again!! But I am an exception to that rule about learning from one’s mistakes! Way to go Vositha!!

“I told you so!” “No you didn’t!”” I am speechless!” ” Why did you??” “Oh no!!”  That is what I get from my close friends these days. I wish I had their wise decision making power or the capacity to predict the shit that I tend to get into before I do!!

Guys please shush and just find me a magic eraser!!

Today’s one of those days where I have got the understanding on many matters. Let me see, how should I word this in a professional yet comprehensive manner?? mmm yeah I have lately realized that I am running short of time and I am still wasting most of those seconds pondering over matters that should not be holding the slightest or the most whimsical importance.

My “to do” List (no pervert interpretations please) holds many a task, and the list prolongs itself to more than 25 things that are still not completed, while I spent a whole day trying to get into a person’s head!! Now what a waste of 24 hours! I mean such a horrendous waste! What couldn’t I have done with that precious time?? I could have had my long due sleep, read my notes on Evidence (yeah the torture still continueth!), gone out for diner with my buddy or watched another movie… so many options and none I have chosen. Why?? That is a question for which I do not want to be pronouncing the answer. Makes me feel stupider than I actually am, on a subjective yet quite a thorough observation 🙂

Yeah so conclusion of all that ranting??

Well there are multiple options that are within your reach, grab them and hold on to those that matter, maximize the tasks that bring happiness and eliminate those which burden your head (start with the gmail, skype,facebook lists :P),never waste a minute pondering and analyzing whether you were stupid in doing something because it’s stupider than the act you may have committed 🙂 All these are my resolutions for the day and I plan to stick to them and when I don’t I have faith in Pemith to remind me of the need to keep certain important ones always in mind 🙂

So bottom line, time does not wait for me and I will try to be ahead of time 🙂 Those who need more time to ponder, analyse, come to conclusions, well I am sorry to say but I think the time is fast ticking and you are a bit too late in making up your mind!!

Have you every liked someone who had no clue that you existed?? Well I think we all go through it once in our lives and have to admit that it sure does hurt. It hurts specially when you know that someone likes someone and you know that it is not you. And you feel like kicking yourself when the person decides to make you his confidante and tell you all about it as well 🙂 Yeah sure you can tell me, I am here for you.. easy said in words but harder to deal with when it comes to dealing with the emotions.

Look away, move on, do what you have to do, get a life,block the person in anyway you can, turn your eyes away from whatever you see regarding the person,keep saying it’s not worth it,try to be the friend who is the listening ear,just think that this is not the one for you,the list of things that one needs to do is way too long…and well having being there and tried all that I have no clue which one to try next!!

Guess hoping that I get amnesia would be a better deal 🙂

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh  I hate this feeling!! I mean HATE THIS FEELING!!

Sigh!

After having planned to study accounts yesterday evening I found myself meeting a friend at McDonald’s. No clue how I managed to find myself there or how I managed to drag him out of bed and his house when he was coughing away sick. He later told me that his theory of survival when down with flu is to have alcohol. “two neat shots!” he tells me. I had to swallow the criticism that came to my mouth given the fact that it seemed to have done him good 🙂

We spoke of our lives, the love he had for this girl who I considered to be the end of him, how much he wants to run away and get away from the life around him, my life, exams, men and too many men according to him in my life who are good for nothing, Africa, morons ..the topics were endless. It was good to catch up with each other’s life. We walked all the way home, with another list of nonsensical and meaningful conversations. For once in the day I felt grateful that I was in that moment just without any complaint to make. Life was good and I liked how it was moving forward.

He dropped me home, and walked all the way back to his place while my mum asked me how my accounts lesson went 🙂 I tell her that I went for a walk with Pemith and she wants to know how he is doing. I think she remembers the crazy singing session we had a few weeks back at my place. Dad seems annoyed that Pemith was not ushered in lol I don’t seem to understand their bond developed over an exchange of oldies hits which got on my nerves the last time Pemith came over.

Pemith calls me a little while later. He tells “it’s over!” I for once am relieved for his sake. “Good” I told him. Thinking he had finally made his mind to leave someone who did not appreciate him for what he did and how much he loved her. I tell him ” I am glad you decided! Finally!” He to my surprise states ” No, she decided!!”

I was surprised but not shocked. But I felt sorry for him, for loving someone more than he should and how much he sacrificed for her. He wants to know how to move on, how to forget and to feel okay. I don’t seem to have the correct answer to his questions…

“How did you do it??” “How did you forget??” I tell him that I am not too sure .. I wish I had a better answer, to be able to guaranty that things will workout and would be way better soon. (Which I wish for and  believe to be the case, nevertheless)

I always wondered why we fall in love with those who we cannot have and be ready to do anything for them when we don’t even notice who really care for us. We reach for those who treat us the worse and wait for a second of happiness while others may offer us hours of caring and affection. To sum things up we are just always wanting what we don’t have and I think I am the biggest sinner of all, when it comes to this vice..

Why do people behave such??

Guess that is another answer to be sought over a walk, but this time on my own 🙂