She just did not comprehend any of it.

Nothing makes sense nor did she want to make sense of anything. Whenever she did try to make sense, absolutely no sense, none at all.

Was there ever any sense? Is there ever any sense?

Life is all about a game of emotions. The one who hath control of it, be the one who triumphs. It is a vicious cycle, and in her life it has a chronic pattern. The effort to deny it be meaningless. She has resigned out of shear fatigue, frustration.

Attachments without logic bring pain, so do those without clarity.

And this be both.

She knows it. She senses it.

A few seconds more.

She awaits the verdict!

Clock is ticking, the stress levels rising, and excitement mounting.

It’s SAYSoCC time again, where youth from across South Asia come together with hope for change, and plans for creating change!

It has been a year since in 2009, a similar group of youth gathered in Dulikel in Nepal as the first step of the forming of a youth movement that would be the youth voice for the South Asia region. They came together to discuss, to coordinate and combine ideas that would empower the climate movement in South Asia.

And their presence was rewarded. The conclusion of the summit was highlighted by the formation of the South Asian Youth Movement on Climate Change, a youth lead network where each county be represented through national networks and national focal points. It also brought forth the South Asian Youth Declaration on Climate Change as well as a South Asian Youth Delegation for COP 15.

Following the successful steps of last year, Sri Lankan Youth Climate Action Network (SLYCAN) the host for this year’s summit, to be held from the 27th to the 30th of October is all set to welcome the youth to Colombo Sri Lanka in partnership with Beyond Borders Sri Lanka and Earth Lanka.

Over 30 international participants from the region of South Asia have confirmed their participation for SAYSoCC Sri Lanka. Many a calls made, many a mail sent, many a meeting held and just a few hours left, for the culmination of all efforts.

In a few hours the dream will be a reality to many of those who have been involved in the strenuous process of organising, the limitless patience and the never ending motivation even at confrontation with great frustration.

So this is to all the youth who were an inspiration with their belief that if there be a will that there be a way! Be you in Sri Lanka, South Asia, or across the globe, your presence is felt, and appreciated at the dawn of a new step towards making through youth initiation.

Let the youth lead the way, and we shall surely show the way!

It’s funny how people answer a question with “let me check”, “will let you know yea”.

Have you heard these?

If yes, what be your belief on them? Was it a yes or a no?
Affirmative? Negative?

Haven’t you ever believed that the party was talking of a more possibility of an affirmative than a negative?

I, for my part, always presumed those answers were meant to be more of an affirmative than a negative, till of course a good friend explained on my complaining on the number of times he pronounces such answers “well can’t say no yea!”

Isn’t it surprising that people chose to answer such, rather than say “NO”!

What be the betterment of letting one believe that there be a probability that what be suggested happens, just merely because someone refuses to say that negative, chooses to leave things hanging around in suspense of, “will he, or won’t he?!”

Well call me boring, I like to keep things simple.

Yes, a “no” well pronounced much appreciated than a confusing statement of improbability and hopes that never come into reality but keep looming in the air!

She is not used to jealousy. But for the first time, she feels it.

She feels it boiling in her, blocking her throat.

Okay she knows finally what it means to feel a lump in her throat. It ain’t fun.

And not at all healthy. Especially when it does no justice to what she deems herself to be.

Guess this is be what people call “being possessive”!

Or is it?

She did not tell him anything. Actually he has no clue of it at all to start off with! So much for her brilliant communication skills. She seems to be faltering on it of late! Too many a times to be more precise!

Fine, so he has no clue how she feels, will have no clue of it either, and what is she doing typing away like a starry eyed teenager who has no better thing to do but meditate him!

Too many calories and brain cells burnt over this “lump” feeling!

For some reason a picture of old times, where women were thrown into the Diyavanna oya with stones hung around their neck comes into her mind. What imagery! Of late her imagination has gone from bad to worse and now to what she has no clue of! What be the excuse for this twistedness? Well surely the “lump”! The one that she feels at her neck, dragging her down, bit by bit!

She does not like the thought of drowning. Choking on a bit of water is painful enough, coughing for good five, six minutes! Imagine choking on a lake full of water!! How would she manage to cough? Now that definitely be matter for concern! Coughing while choking or on choking is important! But trying to cough while drowning with stone around her neck, not fun! That would not attract his attention! (how would he hear her cough while she is under water! As usual he would have no clue. Surprise! Suprise!)Hence, does not serve any purpose. Just pollutes the waters of Diyawanna oya!

Of late her life be full of too many explanations, too many emotions, too many attachments or inclinations towards attachments. In shot an overdose of everything!

“Too much of something is bad enough, but something’s coming on over me to make me wonder! Too much..”

Yikes, where does that come from? Old “spice girls” numbers. Definitely an indication that sanity slips away at its own pace. Nostalgia and nervous breakdowns, calls and no calls…

Ok decided, She shalt stay away!!! (from him of course! And also the Diyawanna Oya)

…and the phone starts ringing..

Have you ever wondered how some people just get on your nerves with each passing moment, while some just have the opposite effect?

Most people of course fall within the first category while well you land with rare exceptions once in a blue moon.

Of late I have been lucky to meet one that fills the bill.

Someone with whom I can share my thoughts without feeling “boooooring” in my head, and then laugh without any effort.

Someone to whom I can tell the craziest things under the planet, and not be worried of being judged or him forming lethal prejudice against me!

Someone with whom I can share a moment, and be sure that I would want to share many more moments yet to come.

Each day I know him, the more I wish I knew him.

Guess there be exceptions to the rule of human acquaintance!

Some people do grow on you!

Well even on “me”!

And for a change “I do” like it!

Time for goodbye. She leans over and kisses him on the cheek and then almost on the lips.
She notices the sheer confusion in his eyes.
Disaster management!
Act normal and wave him good bye!

Then to wonder how she gets into the same situation over and over and over again!

Kisses should not be confusing, they should just be kisses.
Either on the cheek or on the lips.
Not somewhere in between!
And definitely not leaving both parties or one party ultra confused.

It’s true what they say, history doth repeat itself!

And in this case one too many a time!

I sit trying to make sense of the statement being made. Unfortunately none of it makes much sense to me.

Parts of sentences, propositions and the ideas all in a jumble, where the subject, object and the rest seems to be lacking in structure while the pauses seem all misplaced.

I, be seated with two who do understand what be told, in Tamil. I unfortunately with zero level of Tamil language proficiency apart from the capacity to read a few words, try to jot down what be told in a struggle to comprehend the statement being made.

Those who do comprehend the language, show their frustration over the translation, highlight the mistakes being made, which at certain points be total an inversion of what be told! There be questions made statements, affirmative into negative. I pity these parties trying to make sense in a dialogue spoken in two codes, with a mediator trying to facilitate it, but failing to make sense that be wished by both parties in their translation.

( To be noted: I be not a speaker of Tamil, nor do I understand the language, just a mere observer of the process, but a witness to the disappointment of those who did be Tamil speakers, and an eavesdropper of what be their translation of what be the translation provided during the session.)

One question raised by my inner being: Is not this cause for concern?

The question be quite rhetoric and simultaneously ironic. The fact being that all the statements made at the commission raise among the causes of the conflict the issue of language! The Sinhala only Act! Miscommunication and miscomprehension of communal groups due to language! And what be not!

Should not one prevent this form of confusion taking place at the most during the Lessons Leant and Reconciliation, so that there may be a few lessons leant in the process?

I think most of us be “asleep” blissfully unaware of the miscomprehension of what be around us, what is heard around us, what be told around us.

I ponder while the battle of comprehension continues: the Commissioners: the translator: and the speaker.

The public, ignorant of the language discrepancy jotting down words uttered at high speed.

Those speakers of Tamil: stare, open mouthed, forgetting to jot down what be told!

Lesson leant for the day: I need to learn Tamil!

PS: I have nothing against the translator, merely believe in the fact that there be a need for a better communication of what be uttered by the Tamil speakers at the sessions.